


Hidden from View

by dragonndoggod



Series: alt universe [76]
Category: Sex Pistols | Love Pistols
Genre: Betrayal of Trust, Broken Friendship, Dark, Drugs, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Forced Drugs, Forced Everything, Forced Marriage, Forced Pregnancy, M/M, Male Pregnancy, Manipulation, Mpreg, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con, Post Mpreg, Rape Recovery, Rape victim blaming, Rape/Non-con Elements, Victim Blaming, broken trust
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-13
Updated: 2013-07-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 05:27:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 30,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8389006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonndoggod/pseuds/dragonndoggod
Summary: Struggling to get over the pain and the scars that haunt him, Shirou’s courted by two males with two different reasons.  Surprises await for him, breaking up of a relationship and a friendship, bringing others closer.  Can he get over their actions?  And will he chose the right one that will treat him right? This is the continuation of “Intertwining of a hurricane” and if you don’t read that before reading this, you will be confused.





	1. Chapter 1

The ghost like touch that came back to him as he slept, trailing along skin that lay covered by his clothes, coming back to him in a memory that only surfaced when he dreamed.  A small part of himself wanted to lean into the hand, comforting and familiar, unlike the memory of another.  Painful and punishing, the mere though of that man seemed to bring the onslaught of nightmares that caused him more than one sleepless night.  This time, though, his sleep felt collected, calm and almost reassuring.  As though the past several months never happened, that it was nothing but a nightmare that he had waken up from.  He couldn’t be sure if the dream he was experiencing was an actual memory or just something that his mind made up.  Fuzzy and blurry, out of focus, he heard the spoken words that had him thinking of the former instead of the latter.

The feel of fingertips down the side of his jaw, knuckles that caressed skin that wasn’t marred by scars while a voice that was almost hazy and muffled as his sight.  Almost unidentifiable, though he seemed to understand what was being spoken.  “Shirou?”  The whisper in his dream, memories of struggling to open his eyes, it couldn’t be a fantasy nor something his mind made up.  The weight of his eyelids that refused to move, his body and limbs feeling like lead.  “Will you remember this?  Remember me?  Will it take the place of the nightmares that haunt you at night?”

The nuzzling of a nose against  his throat, a scent familiar in an intimate way, hitting him.  He just couldn’t place it.  Deep down, he knew that he knew, could place it anywhere.  Knew who it belonged to, had smelt it when he embraced the male.  But something inside him kept him from actually placing the scent.  The brutalization from Mikkel, the rape and torture blocked all but a few memories that happened after being tortured.  But now, the hand that ran through his hair, the cupping of the back of his head, holding him in place while the press of lips that were neither cruel nor sharp against his in a gentle kiss.  The weight above him, groaning of the bed as the figure climbed into the hospital bed that he occupied.

A voice wanted to speak up, in the back of his mind and demand to know why he was doing this.  Why now?  Couldn’t it wait until he was out of the hospital and healed?  It was bad enough that as his body was shifted, the sharp spike of pain that ran through him.  Redden skin protesting the movement, stitches stretching and pulling.  He could feel his mouth opening, hearing nothing as his dry mouth moved.  Push of clothing, a hand slipping up his leg as his knees were nudged apart.  Words that were whispered softly to him, low while fingertips moved and found his flesh.  Feeling his heart race, pumping harder and spreading the drugs that lingered in his veins, dulling what he didn’t have to guess was going on.  Mouth dry, wanting to protest, to stop what was to happen.  How could he do this?  Never would he have thought that the one he knew would resort to this.  Despite the numbness of the drugs in his body, the feel of fingertips inching inward, pausing at the stitches.  The hope that the one above him would stop, to feel guilt and pull away, was washed away at the feel of fingers pushing inward-

Body stiffening as his eyes snapped open in a panic, breathing heavy as the darkness of his room came into view.  Struggling to fully see in the dark, recognizing his room.  The flow of moonlight, filtering through the curtains that covered the window gave him just enough light to see the features of his room.  Sitting up , wincing at the throbbing in his temples, wondering how many times he had the same dream, waking up at the same part of the dream.  He could feel the rising of goosebumps along his arms, shivering when it wasn’t cold.  The disgust that always lingered after waking up.  “Remember,” he muttered to himself, pushing himself to his feet.  It didn’t matter that he was exhausted, would do anything for more sleep, he wouldn’t be able to get back to the land of slumber.  It wasn’t like he’d be tired for school, he was still an “active” student, despite being schooled at home.  His teacher and tutor, brought in so he could finish without actually going to school.

Swallowing back the sound of frustration that started to rise, checking the clock once more before switching on the small lamp on his nightstand, flooding the area with soft light.  Grabbing one of the bottles that were labeled with his name, twisting the cap and staring down at the pills that had been prescribed to him.  Pills that he couldn’t pronounce, only told that they would help him heal.  Only a month and a half had passed since he returned from Russia and the monster that tormented him.  Memories that, while they hadn’t lessened, seemed to dull enough for him.  Memories that he held in the back of his mind, the nightmares that weakened, being taken over by that dream that came to him as he slept.

Making a face at the taste of the pill on his tongue, the swallow of water and the hopes that he would forget.  There was no chance of him getting back to sleep now.  In the silence of the room, almost heavy, reminding him that it was just he and his mother in the house, he heard it.  A sound, faint in a way that he was so sure that he had imagined it.  In the tiny bassinet that lay just a few feet from his bed, hidden by the cloth and blankets, lay his child.  Protected from the elements, he could feel his heart soften as he stepped closer.  Parting the blankets enough to glance at the sleeping figure.  It wasn’t either of their faults, though he could put partial blame on Yonekuni.  Despite the looks that he caught when the heavyweight visited, he was so sure that he caught disgust hidden in blue eyes.  The rational side of himself continued to argue, fighting what he thought he saw.  The same way it had been in the hospital.

Hidden in the shadows of the protective bassinet, surrounded by blankets, reaching in the pull back just enough to glance at the still forming child.  He could see hints of what form Tadakuni was to take before giving his son a smile that he wouldn’t see.  “It’ll be okay, Tadakuni-chan, I’ll be strong enough for the both of us.”  He couldn’t help feeling silly, talking to a child who, at the moment, wouldn’t understand what he was saying, one who wouldn’t be able to answer him.  A small connection that was growing, though he was hesitant about raising a child.  In the wake of what happened, he needed to pull himself together for Tadakuni.  He hadn’t told Yonekuni about the baby’s name, remembering the question the blond had asked him while he was in the hospital.  In his thoughts, he caught the twitching of an ear, the fainest of fur that started to appear.  This-this had to be better than breeding with Mikkel, right?

At that thought, his hand reached up, touching the still almost vivid pink scars that decorated his throat and the back of his neck.  Stomach rolling in an echo of the memory of the boat trip, shaking his head and feeling his mind spin before the soft voice spoke up, pulling him from thoughts, nearly stumbling as he stepped back.

“Shirou-chan?”

Barely sparing a glance at his concerned pack leader, falling to his knees onto the carpet below while his head swam.  A feeling that had been happening as of late, almost in remembrance of what he went through months ago.

“What’re you doing out of bed?”  The nearly silent creak of the door as his mother stepped inside.  The faint light from the hallway, dull in his room as the older woman stepped further inside and knelt down beside him.  He could just imagine the sound of surprise that she hid at the sound of sickness, the splatter of what his stomach had held.  The water and the pill, what was left over of what he had eaten was now staining the carpet below him.  Face heating up, shame filling him.  How could he do something like this?  And in front of his mother?  Turning his head away and struggling to get up, it was the strong grip on his shoulder, fingers curling and keeping him from getting to his feet.  The strength that his mother hidden, being used on him.

“S-sorry.  I’ll clean it up right now-”  Though the hand on his shoulder didn’t leave, he waited for his mother to drop her hand so he could rise to his feet co clean up the mess he made.

“Don’t worry about it, Shirou-chan.  Come on, bring Tadakuni-chan with you, it looks like you won’t be getting back to sleep anytime soon.”  Nodding slowly, clenching his eyes tightly closed at the flip of the light switch, flooding his room with bright light in the darkness of the morning.  Avoiding the spot on the floor, the towel that was moved in his sight, looking up to the comforting smile that his mother offered him, though it seemed strained and on the verge of breaking.  “It’s okay, Shirou-chan,” though the woman before him spoke softly, as though not to wake the sleeping creature in the bassinet, Shirou could pick up on the order and the desperation that seemed to line her words.  The frustration that refused to leave, lingering between them.  Glancing up at his mother through his glasses, about to turn his gaze away when he thought he caught the unvoiced emotions in her eyes before the hand on his chin stopped him.

“Shirou-chan,” the shake of her head, collecting her thoughts before pulling him fully into her arms.  “No, n-no, Shirou,” he heard the catch in her voice and the trembling, the way her voice thickened as she struggled to speak, “please don’t look away.  I-I know-.  No, I don’t know the pain you’ve been through and the pain that you’re going through.  But I would do anything and everything I could to take away the pain.”  The near cry in his ear, feeling his mother pull away to look at him, the tears that he hadn’t caught in her eyes were now slipping down her cheeks.  “I’m so sorry, Shirou-chan.”  The worry of a bottom lip, swollen and red from days of being bitten and for the first time since the whole mess started, since before the falling out with his parents, did he believe what his mother was saying.  If this hadn’t happened, he wouldn’t have been able to believe that his mother could break down like this, to show a vulnerable side of herself.  A strong and proud woman that would rather bite her tongue than to admit to him that she made a mistake.

“My baby,” a hand wiped at the tears that continued to fall as she struggled to compose herself, breaking through the skin of her lip just enough to cause crimson blood start to bead before being wiped away.  “Come, lets get you out of your room.”  Rising to her feet, grabbing  a discarded towel that lay abandoned on the floor and used it to clean up the mess.  Glancing up through her bangs, seeing eyes so similar to hers look away, darting towards the bassinet and felt her heart break.  Tossing the soiled towel into the hamper in the corner, watching Shirou struggle to his feet and felt her stomach twist at the almost despair like look that her son wore.  More than once had she regretted everything that caused the mess that placed Shirou in the center of it.  The surgery that had taken place, not only to rush and heal Shirou, to repair the damage of his body, but to also bring her grandson into the world.

What should have been a happy day, if Shirou hadn’t been kidnapped and raped, tortured to the point that would normally drive others to suicide, was made even worse by the news of Shirou’s internal injuries.  The notice, after the doctor reported of her son’s condition, was the fact that a second temporary womb was planted.  At the time, she hadn’t given it any thought to the second womb worm.  Mikkel was sterile and there was no chance that Shirou was pregnant, the hope that with no implantation, the womb would be absorbed into Shirou’s body and her son wouldn’t have to know.  The only thing that mattered at the time was that her son’s health got better.

Wiping her hands down the front of her clothes, reaching down to pull the small bundle from the bassinet and bringing the tiny figure that was wrapped up in blankets closer to her chest.  With a nearly sleep deprived son, Mischa guided her pup into the kitchen, watching the male step closer and take the child from her.  Catching the hint of a smile that curled at the corners of Shirou’s lips, the faint sound of a chair being pulled back before turning and putting her back to her son.  In the motions of making tea, ripping open a small package that she had crushed earlier, pouring the contents in the hot liquid before grasping the handles.  Turning, nearly spilling the scalding liquid when she caught the tiny, flickering hints of life.  No, she shook her head, it couldn’t, she probably only imagined what she had seen.  The stress of being at fault to what happened to her son.

“Not sleeping, well, Shirou?” A silly question that she knew, but a safe topic to start off with.  Something neutral to test the waters.  The hesitant nod when pale eyes  looked up at her.  The sip as the male tested the temperature of the tea before he placed the cup on the table

“Y-yes.  The dreams are keeping me up.  W-waking me up.”  The confession she wasn’t expected, the soft words as Shirou looked down at his son.

“Dreams?  Are they nightmares?  About what-”  Her mind whirled, running theories.  The medication was supposed to help Shirou deal with his nightmares.

“No!”  The loud exclamation startled her before Shirou gave her an embarrassed look, quietly cursing himself.  “No, the-the nightmares aren’t bothering me as much as they should.  But the dreams, t-they’re strange.”  A soft sip, quiet while her son looked down at the bundle in his arms once more.  Bandages that had been wrapped around raw and shredded skin, the still pink skin that her son was afraid to look at.  Understanding the fear that would forever haunt him.  She remembered the doctor, one of the hospital’s top psychologists pulling her off to the side after he examined her son.

A few weeks into Shirou’s stay, no progression being made in her son’s mental recovery.  His body was healing, as much as could be expected, but the damage that had happened to him was assaulting him at night, preventing him from getting any type of sleep.  “I have to say and this is private information between me and your son, but this is going to take some time for you son to heal from this.  His psyche is damaged and his mind is providing what isn’t happening.”  Confusion must have been written on her face, the stress of worry and everything rolled into one wasn’t helping.  Hearing the sigh as the doctor urged her towards the chairs that were situated for privacy, away from those that were either working or visiting, giving them a privacy between others.  “I’m going to prescribe a medication that will help him sleep,” she caught the worrying of a bottom lip as the doctor flipped through his notes before pulling out a pamphlet written in Russian and handed it to her.  “This will allow him to sleep peacefully.  It does have some side effects that you need to keep an eye out for.  But as of right now, memories of what happened to him are strong and vivid.”

Catching the worry that the doctor tried to convey, the slip of paper with Shirou’s prescription written on it.  “One refill and that’s it.  But during the time he’s taking the drugs, he needs to be weened from it, slowly.  Or else he  _ _will_ _ _ _ become addicted to it.”  The grim look the older male wore, the fears that had laid just below the surface now wanted to break free.

“Just be patient, you’re son is stronger than you think.  Be there for him and don’t take his reactions to you or your words personal.  Put yourself in his shoes, how would  _ you  _  react if you experienced what he has?”  The forced smile that the doctor wore, the folding of hands as he thought before speaking once more.  “Also, a therapist may be able to help him.  To allow him to talk of his fears with someone that isn’t his family.  If he doesn’t open up to you, it’s not you’re fault.  Give him time.”

‘Time,’ she thought to herself as she curled her hands over the hot surface of her cup, ‘that’s all I seem to have.’

Sipping at the scalding liquid, watching her son over the rim of the cup and under the low light, catching the muffled yawn.  Dark circles that were slowly forming when Shirou didn’t sleep.  “The dreams,” barely catching the worlds, almost dropping the small cup and hissing under her breath at the burn that would soon form, “it’s the dreams that are waking me up.”

Setting the cup to the side, leaning in and resting her arms along the table as she studied her son.  “Dreams, Shirou?  They’re not nightmares?”  Her voice was soft as she spoke, curious to know what was going on in her son’s head.

“No.  The dreams are always the sames.  Words that I can’t remember and the touch on my skin-”  The flush that started to spread across Shirou’s cheeks, looking away from her.  “I can’t even really recall what the dream is about.  It’s just, I always wake up at this one-” his words were interrupted by a loud yawn, a look that was shot towards her before her pup looked away.  “Y-you don’t think less of me because of what happened, do you?  I-I mean, I’m still your son, right?”  Swallowing past the growing lump in her throat, a sob starting to rise.

Shaking her head, biting down on her lower lip before her voice came back to her.  “N-You’re still my son, Shirou   My baby.  I don’t think less of you,  _ _**not at** _ _ ** __ ** _ _**all** _ _ _**!** _  I would do everything in my power to stop it.  If I had listened-”  Another shake of her head, wiping away the tears that started to slip as she confessed.  “You’re strong Shirou,” pushing back her chair to move to Shirou’s side, carefully pulling him into her arms.  With Tadakuni between them, she held her son as carefully as she could.  “You’re so strong, Shirou.  Don’t let this break you, okay?  I can’t say I understand how you feel, I can’t.  I can never imagine the pain and the terror you felt, but I love you!  Your father and I, we both love you so much.  We don’t think less of you, never think that, okay?”  Her words trailed into a whisper, feeling Shirou nod and pulled back, taking the bundle from Shirou’s arms.

“Don’t worry about Tadakuni-chan, your father and I will make sure he gets big and strong, we’ll be there to help” she knew her son understood what she meant, raising the child as though he was theirs instead of their grandchild.  Helping when Shirou struggled.

“But what about-“

Holding up a hand, stopping Shirou’s worries.  At this moment, their hotel chains could run themselves unless something came up and required one of them to visit.  “We’ll manage, Shirou.  It’s been so long since you were a baby, well,” trying to force down the excitement that start to rise, “let me be the doting grandmother and mother to you.”  Pulling the bundle closer, her protective instincts urging her on in the role that she had taken years before.

“I-if your sure,” the hesitant words and the big yawn that followed, looking down at her grandson.  Hiding the pleased look at Shirou’s sleepiness, she schooled her features when her son shot her a curious look.

“I’m sure.  Besides,” hiding her smile as she looked down at her grandson, “I think Madarame-kun and Oushou-chan will be happy to have you to themselves.  By the way, Shirou-chan, you seemed to bring out the best in them-”  looking up from the sleeping Tadakuni to see Shirou slumped over the table, his arms folded and head resting.  This time she didn’t bother to hide her smile.  The crushed sleeping pills that had been dissolved when she poured the tea, working faster than she thought on her sleep deprived son.

“I’m sorry, Shirou-chan, forgive me for this.  You haven’t slept well since we brought you home from the hospital-”  The faintest flicker, narrowing her eyes when she caught it once again, the same flicker as before.  So she  _ _wasn’t_ _ _ _ wrong, hadn’t imagined it.  “What the hell happened to you, Shirou-chan?  You weren’t even safe in the hospital!”  Tearing her eyes away, gentle setting the small bundle on the table to quickly retrieve a blanket to drape and wrap Shirou’s shoulders before picking Tadakuni back up.  “Come on, Tadakuni-chan,” she whispered to the creature inside the bundle of blankets, “let’s tell your grandpa about this news.  Something’s not right here and when Shirou finds out, it’s not going to be a pretty sight.”

~~~

She was right in her words, a few days later when she called Soujirou late one morning, giving him the news and the suspicions that she had.  “Get him to a hospital,” the order, hearing the stress in her partner’s voice, revealing what Soujirou was going through, “we both he’s not pregnant with Mikkel’s child.  Let’s-”  a broken off curse before the male spoke, leaving her longing, “I-I wish I was there, Mischa.  Find out.  Find out who did this, it’s got to be one of the two who came with you, it has to be.  But do what you have to do and take the two to the hospital for their check ups, okay?”  Murmuring her agreement, Soujirou’s voice soft in her ear.

“I love you, Mischa.  You and Shirou along with Tadakuni-chan.  Keep me updated.”

Wanting nothing more than to lean back into her husband’s arms, even though he was on the other side of the globe, struggling to handle the emergency that had come up at on their hotels in German.  Leaving her to take Shirou to the doctors and to discover who betrayed her son’s trust.  Soujirou didn’t have to tell her to take Shirou to the doctors, glancing at her phone before moving.  Though her husband had told her to take Shirou to the hospital, she had already planned an appointment.  Moving through the hallway and towards the study, out in the open, she caught the movement of a hand.  Words instructed softly to her son while his hired teacher spoke.  Books splayed across the table, papers that had been written and those waiting to be written were most likely separated by subject.

An employee that worked as one of their top managers, suggesting someone that, after several background checks and interviewing, came highly recommended   A student looking for teaching experience before continuing her studies for pharmaceutical work.  Leaning against the doorway, watching the young woman turn the page before lecturing her son on a subject that was necessary to pass the exams.  Waiting for a moment before stepping further inside and speaking up.

“Hikari-san,” interrupting the cat as she explained the complex formula, “we’ll have to stop for today.  I almost forgot that Shirou and Tadakuni have a check up at the doctors.”  She lied through her teeth, giving the woman a small smile, her emotions twisting in her gut.  She hadn’t forgotten about the appointment, but with everything that was happening, the talk with Soujirou and the betrayal that Shirou was to face, she was allowed to lie to someone that wasn’t family.

“Of course.  Shirou-kun, continue the lesson we were working on with the pages I listed.  Tomorrow, we’ll work on history.”  The rustling of books and papers, the lesson planner slipped into her bag before the nod to the both of them.  Escorting her out before returning to the study, giving Shirou an apologetic look.  “I really am sorry, Shirou-chan.  I did forget to tell you of your health check up.  Especially Tadakuni-chan since he’s been home for a month and a half.”  She paused, weighing her words before speaking, not wanting to give Shirou a hint of what was going on in her mind.  “By the way, have Madarame-kun and Oushou-chan been by today?”  Curiosity laced her voice, masking the sharpness that lay hidden below.  The slow shake of a dark head and the curious look the young male gave her.  After all, it was a little out of character for herself to ask such questions.

“N-no.  Oushou said he had exams and Y-Yonekuni said almost the same thing.”  Catching the stumbling in Shirou’s voice over the blond’s name, she couldn’t help wonder if her son was leaning towards the reptile and away from the snake.  “Though Oushou said that his exams would be done in a few days.”  The tilting of a head, Mischa caught sight of the links of still vibrant pink scars that peeked out from the collar of Shirou’s shirt.  Biting her bottom lip and nodded when Shirou gave her a quizzical look, never hearing the dates that left her son’s lips.  It was obvious that Shirou’s two self proclaimed suitors didn’t know, that they hadn’t picked up on the signs and signals that Shirou’s body was giving off.  She would make sure that they did know, find out who had betrayed Shirou’s trust and show them the consequences of doing what Shirou’s rapist had done to him.

“Don’t worry about about the books,” she commented softly, watching Shirou nod and place the books back to the side where they had originally been laying among the scattered papers.  Crossing her arms across her chest, struggling to keep her body from stiffening as she caught the flicker once more, reminding her what Shirou didn’t know.  Following Shirou towards the bundle that lay in the mobile cradle, standing at Shirou’s side and looked down, watching her pup pick up and cradle his own pup.  “Has he been asleep the whole time?”

“No, he awoke one, but quieted down after feeding him.”  The flush that crossed Shirou’s cheeks as he spoke, refusing to look up at her.  “Hikari-san thought it was cute and watched when I fed him.  She told me about her brother and his partner, about wanting a child and she was curious-“

“You mean that he’s planning to have one and she’s a little curious, right?”  She didn’t wait for Shirou’s answer and continued on, her tone hardening and becoming just a little more harsher than she intended.  “Let me know right away if she gets pushy on personal questions.  She’s your teacher and tutor and only that.  Any personal questions that don’t relate to work that she gives you should be avoided-“

The look of offense crossed Shirou’s face, watching the wolf pick Tadakuni up and pull the bundle closer to his body.  She still had to work on gaining Shirou’s full trust back.  “I’m sorry, Shirou-chan.  I know you’re of age, but after what happened, it’s hard not to be fully on guard.  Just because your teacher is and though recommended by those who work for us, we can’t be too careful.”  Her voice thickened, every memory rushed at her, reminding her that this, Shirou’s personal torment and hell was all her fault.  “All I want to do is protect you, Shirou.  To keep you and Tadakuni safe.  I’ve regretted pushing this, being the cause of your misery.”  Taking Shirou’s silence that he agreed, silently blaming her, biting down on the inside of her cheek as she followed the wolf towards the door.  Never bothering to look up as she closed the door behind her, locking it before looking up.  Freezing in her steps, the sight of the one of the two that they had been talking about just minutes before.

Struggling to keep her expression neutral, didn’t want to show any and all emotions that would tell the world and the blond heavyweight what she was thinking.  It would do little good if the blue eyed male found out and tried to weasel his way out of both responsibility and punishment.  Though surprise ran through her at the sight of the reptile carrying a large box that when put together would be something could use when Tadakuni grew.  She couldn’t deny the impressed feeling she got from the blond.  Having seen the heavyweight try to prove himself as a suitable partner and father and though Shirou would deny it if she asked, she got the feeling that her son was slowly coming around.  Taking a silent breath, testing the air before smiling, forcing herself to look pleased.

“Ah, Madarame-kun, you’re just in time.”  A feeling that resembled satisfaction at the look of annoyance that crossed the heavyweight’s face built up.  The pressing of lips and the tightening of fingers along the box told her more than the look did.  “You can come with us to Shirou’s doctor visit.  I’m sure that you, as a male trying your best to prove to my son that you’re the right choice to be a father to the son you helped created, would like to come with us.  So let’s just put that gift in the house.”  The faint narrowing of blue eyes, knowing that the male wouldn’t refuse what she offered, seeing the short nod.  Shifting her gaze, the confusion that crossed Shirou’s face and knew, without having to say or ask, the tension that was building in the atmosphere between her and the reptile.  A sound of a whimper, recognizing the almost distressed call.  It wasn’t just the three of them that felt the tension and animosity that was building between them.

“Fine.  In fact,  _ _thank you_ _ _ _ for the invitation.  I’ll be glad to join Shirou and my son.”  The roll of words, trying to find any of the normal sarcasm that the male usually used and finding none, she could only watch the blond turn towards Shirou.  Corners of lips that started to curl into a smile, the almost ducking of a head as the bigger male talked quietly to her son.  If none of this had happened, she would have thought the blond’s infatuation with Shirou was cute, almost like puppy love.  But because the reptile might have been the one who violated Shirou, she couldn’t treat the blond heavyweight like she had during the hospital visit.  Unlocking the door and watching silently  while Yonekuni set the box inside before locking the door back up.

“Don’t think that by getting on Shirou’s good side means that I’m in the dark about what you’ve done to Shirou.”  Her words were whispered harshly, just for the blond’s ears only.  Fingers curling and cupping her elbows as she held herself up and squared her shoulders.  “It’s either you or Aogiri-san and right now, I don’t trust you.  I don’t trust him right now either and I will find out which one of you’ve done it.”  Giving the heavyweight a glare out of the corner of her eye, ignoring the confused look that the younger male gave her.

~~

“This-this is-” the loud swallow from the specialist that sat at the desk across from them.  “I-uh, usually just have one patient in here for consultation, not the whole family.”  The man tried to chuck and force a smile before releasing a pent up sigh and picked up the file that had been sent to him weeks before.  Feeling his body tremble under the hostile look the older woman gave, avoiding her eyes and looking at the dark haired male that held a child.  Skin pale, the press of lips before gray eyes dropped from his gaze.  Pushing himself to his feet, file and paperwork in hand before looking down at those who sat in front of him.  Nerves ran rampant, belying the years of experience in the madararui medical field.

“Okay, I’ll exam him and the child for you.  But the two of you need to stay behind here-“

Stiffening at the narrowed pale eyes and, he nodded and silently told the woman he would do what she requested.

“Come along, Fujiwara-san,” he ushered the slightly pale and shaken male out of his office and towards the examination room, the bundle that the male held was pulled closer.  The minute he pulled the door closed, he could hear the muffled words, voices rising and escalating  “L-lets go to another room, further away for privacy, shall we?”  A hesitant nod, opening the door for the young male and closing it quietly behind him.

With his patient’s paper work sitting on the small counter situated against the wall, watching the male pull back the protective coverings that held the child.  “We’ll start with your son.  Let me take a look at him.”  As the child was revealed, he held back the surprise that overwhelmed him, a smile that slowly crossed his face.  “He seems to be further along than others born between two males.”  A glance up, teeth worrying a bottom lip before Shirou released his hold on the child.  Routine process of a check up, charting down everything from weight and development to temperature and length, noting that the child seemed to be developing a little smoother than others born between two males.

“Your child is doing better than expected, Fujiwara-san.”  He smiled, seeing the opening of a eye and the yawn, showing off what would have been teeth if the child had been older.  “In fact, after reviewing the paper work that your doctors sent, it seems he’s doing better now than back in the hospital.  Now,” setting aside what he had been writing, pushing his gasses up the bridge of his nose, “now, it’s your turn.  There are some personal gowns in the drawer for you, please change into that while I return your son back to your mother.”  Gathering the small child in his arms, making sure that the pup was properly covered, he started down the hallway.  “I didn’t tell your mother, little one, but I think you’ll be such a heart breaker.”  He murmured to the sleeping child in his arms, knowing that this would be the only time he would be able to hold such a rare creature.

Approaching the door to his office, the raised voices he had left earlier hadn’t died down.  Bracing himself, he could only hold his breath as he stepped inside.  He was lucky enough that his office was located in a secluded part of the hospital, away from those with prying eyes. Money could be a wonderful motivator to keep lips tight and the sad tale that he was given, believing it once he had a chance to read the report made it even more so to keep others from knowing.  The opening of the door went ignored by the two heavyweights, feeling his knees weakening by the force of the power that the two gave off, but the weight in his arms, as light as it was, prevented him from falling to the ground.  Summoning up the courage he knew he had, stepping further inside before striding between the two warring madararui.

“I don’t know what’s really going between the two of you and at this moment, I really don’t care.”  Turning to the blond, seeing  the male’s features soften as he held out the child.  “Even though my office and the examination room is secluded, with the way you’re yelling at each other is bound to attract the few that pass by.  Now, just because I’m doing this exam without a nurse, per your instructions,” a glance at the older woman, seeing the displeasure cross her face, “I will not hesitate in throwing the both of you out.  The health and well being of your son, my patient, is higher priority than the argument going on between the two of you.”  Though his expression remained calm on the outside, he could feel his soul quake in submission, fighting hard to keep from showing the two what their power did to him.

“Tadakuni-kun is healthy as can be, though he should be just a little heavier.  Make sure that the formula you’re feeding him is the right brand for his age and that you’re giving him the right amount.  I’ll return when I’m done examining your son.  The blood work up, though, will take some time to analyze.  Most likely a few days.”  Looking from the two to his desk, copies of the medication that the young male had been taking lay in the folder in the examination room.  “I noticed that your son is taking medication and I’m not that familiar with that type of drug-” struggling to pull the name of the medication that the male was taking, cursing under his breath when he couldn’t pronounce it and before he could stumble on the name, the woman spoke up.

“Yes.  His doctor, one of them, a psychologist, said it would help him get over the traumatic r-rape that he went through.  It was also supposed to help him sleep, which he’s struggling with right now.  I-I believe the medicine is called c-citalopram systemic.”  The murmured explanation and the stumble of the name, her thoughts turned inward.  Something about the name and description seemed off. And while he knew about drugs and medication in Japan, his knowledge of those from abroad were extremely limited.  Inclining his head just enough to thank her for them name, he turned to leave before pausing.

“I’ll give you a call when I get the results back.  For now, please excuse me.  I’m sure your son wants to get this over as soon as possible.”  Giving the two a stern look, hoping that the two would follow his words but knowing that he had little power of persuasion over two in higher standing than him.  Closing the door to his office, releasing a sound of relief before returning back to the examination room he left Shirou in.

~~

The uncomfortable atmosphere didn’t matter to him, holding his son close to his chest and ignoring the strong woman who had spent most of the time accusing him of crawling into Shirou’s bed in the hospital.  Of touching and impregnating the male while he was most vulnerable.  Of violating what trust they had, which at the moment, wasn’t as much as he had hoped.  After all, the treatment he gave the male, dismissing and denying that the child he held was his.  Carefully cradling the child closer, taking the seat he had vacated during the argument with Shirou’s mother.  “I told you already,” he caught the opening of the woman’s mouth, quietly saying what he had repeated over and over again, “I haven’t slept with Shirou since the time in the hotel.  Not that I haven’t wanted to.  I respected his wishes and look what its gotten me.  Why is it that all your attention is focusing all on me?”

Looking up from his son to give the woman a cool, curious and accusing look.  “Is it possible that the child, if he is pregnant, that the child could be that man’s or even Shirou’s friend.”

“It can’t be Mikkel’s child.  The disease that took over inside him, years of advancing, made him sterile.  He’s been sterile nearly half his life.  So it’s either you or Aogiri-san.”  Contempt laced her voice, a look that said she didn’t believe anything he said and for a brief moment, he was reminded of his mother.  The twisted way she worked, her thought process and calculated looks that she threw him.

“You don’t know that!”  His voice raised slightly, struggling not to disturb his son with his anger.  “Is it possible that the scientist lied to you?”  A question that had been laying on the tip of his tongue, wondering if the woman was believing everything that the man had told her.  Catching the slight intake of breath before nodding her head.

“There is a possibility that he did lie to me and my husband.  But what would he gain from lying to use?  And besides,” a breath released in a harsh sigh as she looked away from him, “the reports that have been sent back to me already confirms what he’s told me.  So if Shirou is pregnant, it is  _ not  _ Mikkel’s child.  That just leaves you and Aogiri-san-”  The sharp intake of breath as the pale haired woman came to the same conclusion as he.

“For all his claiming that he would claim my child as his, that he wouldn’t care that I laid with Shirou.  For all his claims that he didn’t care that the child wasn’t his by blood, that nice guy attitude and facade, he took advantage of Shirou’s situation.  To assure that he got what he wanted, at the expense of Shirou without him knowing.”  Glancing over at the speechless woman, seeing her putting the pieces together.  “Like the snake he is, he struck when Shirou was at his most vulnerable-“

“Until we can fully prove it,  _ _**this** _ _ _ _ needs to be kept from Shirou!”  The woman pushed herself to her feet and began pacing back and forth, seeing the agitation build up inside the woman, almost as if she was a caged animal.  “Right now, Shirou’s vulnerable, more so since he needs to stop taking that medication that he’s been prescribed.  If he finds out that his best friend betrayed him.   _ _Raped him_ _ _ _  when he couldn’t even fight back, he’d have a break down that he can’t recover from.” 

“He’s bound to find out that he’s pregnant and what will you do?  Lead  him to believe that the child’s his rapist’s?  Does Shirou even know that the man is sterile?”  He countered back, pressing his lips tightly together in disapproval.

A movement and shark shake of a head.  “No, Shirou’s never been told that Mikkel’s sterile.  But-”  A curse broken off as sound from the other end of the door, the knob turning before the door was slowly opened.

“Doctor?  Oh, I’m sorry,” a flush of embarrassment from the young nurse that stood in the doorway, “it’s just that I heard raised voices as I passed by and became worried- Oh!”  The curious look that landed on him and the tiny child he held.  He could only imagine what was going on in her head.  “Can I see him?  Is it yours?”  How could the woman before him ignore the tense atmosphere between him and Shirou’s mother?  Pushing himself to his feet, away from the seat and backed away.  Because his child was still too tiny, too small to  withstand a full onslaught flare of his soul.

“Please respect our privacy by staying away,” voice calm, almost diplomatic words from Shirou’s mother as the older woman put aside the animosity that hung in the air, “please don’t get any closer to him.”

“I’m so sorry,” the bowing of a head, catching the clenching of teeth and the forced apologetic smile that the woman gave them.  “I just thought-“

“I know you may have good intentions,  but please give us the privacy that we need.  There’s a reason we’re in this office.  Besides, I doubt  _ _you_ _  actually need to be here,” the friendly smile belied the anger that was hiding below the surface, whether it was centered towards him or Shirou’s middleweight friend, “so please leave before you start to ask for information, gossiping material.”  Words snapped off in a harsh growl and for the first time, he could understand the frustration and desperation that the woman felt.  Reliving everything that her son had gone through.  Only this time, her son has no knowledge of what had happened to him.

“Please,” he spoke up when the small cat shot him a look, as though she was hopping he would come to her rescue.  To be her knight and shining armor that many woman portrayed him to be, “just give us the privacy that we ask.  Just like you would want the privacy that was afforded to you without anyone coming in and trying to get information from you.  A person who has no connection to your file or your case.”  Ignoring the twinge in his chest, no matter how things would go, he still didn’t want to hurt a girl’s feelings.  The soft murmured apology before the woman left, giving him one last look as the door closed.

“You see?  Curiosity like that will cause more traumatic memories to surface for Shirou.  When we get Shirou’s blood tests back, it’ll reveal what’s true or not.  But,” he watched the woman chew her thumb as she thought before continuing, “this betrayal will break him.  You remember, don’t you Madarame-kun?  He didn’t cry while in the hospital.  He was and still am so strong-“

“He did cry, only once,” Yonekuni admitted, looking down at the child, “he just glanced at me for a moment, thinking before looking away and breaking down. That was the first and the only time that I saw him fully break down. Even,” he chewed his bottom lip, “even after finding him, he didn’t cry. That time in the hospital, that was the only time that I saw him give into his weakness. He’s-he’s never showed anything of the sort to me. But something seems off with him. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed that when he’s putting on a brave front, something just doesn’t sit right. As though a part of Shirou is missing. Didn’t you notice it? Maybe it’s the medication the doctor mentioned. Is that something that’s good for Shirou? A-and the child?” He wasn’t used to showing concern for others, especially another guy, one who might be pregnant by another, with no fault to Shirou.

“I’m not sure about the medication, the one who treated Shirou-chan didn’t explain it fully about the side effects. He only told me that the drug would be able to help him sleep without the nightmares plaguing him, to help him get over the traumatic experience. And that he needs to be weened off it. In fact, I’m sure that he doesn’t have any refills for the medication. He should be all out of it by now, the symptoms-” A mutter as the wolf from across of him opened up her bag, pulling out a file before opening it up, thumbing through the pages. A small clenching in his gut started to get bigger, never leaving as time slowly passed. A pull of a phone, dialing of a number and listening to a one sided conversation that he couldn’t understand. Hearing the change of tone and the dropping of temperature before the the phone call was abruptly ended. Keeping his lips shut, knowing the woman would tell him when she was ready.

Parting the folds of the protective blanket, catching a soft whine from the sleeping pup. He couldn’t help being a little disappointed that his son didn’t carry his shape, but he hoped that when his human face showed, he would at least have his looks.

“He’s got a name, you know,” the quiet words that broke through his thoughts, “Shirou-chan named him “Tadakuni”. A name that will fit him when he’s older.” The soft smile as the long haired woman pushed away from the chair she had been sitting in and moved closer towards him, leaning over to see her grandson. The anger and the animosity that she had showed was gone, if only temporary, as she talked to him. “I”m sure that your family wants to know about him and the name. After you, the woman that came to visit Shirou in the hospital in Russia has been sending gifts as soon as she found out what shape he’s taken. Despite your gruff attitude, you’ve got the guts to stand up, even though you seemed to doubt everything in the beginning. Show me, Madarame-kun,” strength and power, everything and Shirou is, words that challenged the animal inside him, “prove to me that you’ve told me is true. Are you going to stick by Shirou’s side when my son finds out what happened to him? This-this is going to shatter his world.”

He had asked himself many times over, even before finding out that Shirou might be pregnant again. But like his brother, he was ready to face the future, even if he was a little uncertain about how Shirou would react to his courting. Taking a deep breath, he answered what was in his heart.

“Yes. I said so to you earlier, back in the hospital. I don’t want my son nor do I want Shirou to be in the hands of one who betrayed him so easily.” Pale eyes narrowed down at him, watching the older woman weigh his words and his sincerity. He never knew that it wouldn’t be long before he was face to face with the snake in sheep’s clothing

~~

Standing just outside the platform as he waited for the train to arrive, glancing at his watch with impatience. He couldn’t stand waiting for the train, more than just a little impatient to visit Shirou. A bag that held the clothes he bought for a child that he wanted to claim as his, if not by blood than by name and by love. Paid for with the money his mother had given him. Telling her, lying through his teeth while telling her what she wanted to hear. After all, she was eager to latch on to the strength and power that Shirou’s family had to offer. Of course, he never told his mother what he done, to make sure that his bloodline continued. 

So sure that no one knew, that when he showed up at Shirou’s home, he was surprised at the cool, almost suspicious look she gave him when she answered the door.

“Oh, you’re here, Oushou-chan,” a smile that lacked the warmth that the woman always offered, reminding him of the smiles that his snake of a mother gave others, “right now, Shirou-chan’s not up to visitors at the moment, but you’re welcome to come in.”

It didn’t pass his notice when he caught the tightening of fingers at the mention along the door frame at the mention of Shirou’s name. Unable to understand the feeling of awkwardness that came over him, Oushou swallowed and took a step forward into the house and handed the woman the bag he carried. “H-here, this is from my family,” clearing his throat and struggling to smile, Oushou felt his confidence waver. She couldn’t know, could she? Refraining from shaking his head, Shirou’s mother couldn’t know what he had done. After all, with what Shirou had been through, she had to believe that the child that Shirou carried was his rapist’s child. She couldn’t think anything bad about him, with him supporting Shirou in everything that he had been through, she had to think him better than that.

The bag that he held out was taken, catching the quick movement, expect the woman to look at the items he brought, not the feel of a cool gaze on his skin. A look that would usually be reserved for those who were suspected of heinous crimes and acts, Struggling to keep his expression as neutral as he could, trying to keep from giving Shirou’s mother any hints to what was going on in his mind. Never catching the slight fairing of her nose nor the near inaudible sniff to the air.

“Well, you might as well come in. You can see Shirou when he’s up to visitors.”

Slipping past the taunt woman, feeling the unnatural cool gaze on his back, he followed the path he knew by heart. Pausing and nearly swearing he heard the whispering words, accusation that he had to live with. Looking over his shoulder, the surprise sight of the large blond behind him. He wasn’t expecting to be slammed against the wall, the back of his head hitting the metal frame of a picture. Feeling large hands grasping and twisting at his shirt while an arm pinned against his throat. Trying and failing to swallow back the sound of pain, he could only watch as lips parted and teeth that looked sharper than he cared to find out.

“I knew you shouldn’t be trusted, you twisted little fuck.” The deep guttural sound that rumbled from deep in the blond’s chest, echoing in the quiet hallway.

“Why the fuck did you do it? No, don’t answer me, your sick answer doesn’t matter! Thinking that if you betrayed Shirou, it would make you feel better than everyone else, right?” The sharp pinprick of claws as the heavyweight’s soul started to take over, the almost cool and rough covering that started to appear. “Here I am, trying my best to court Shirou in the way that would honor the male and I find out that Shirou’s pregnant-”

It’s that guy’s child! Shirou’s rapist’s child!” He tried to defend himself as the pressure against his neck eased just enough to allow him to breath. “It’s got to be! I-I mean, why would you-”

“It’s yours, don’t try to fool me! Why would you fuck Shirou in the hospital? He’s trying to recover from being tortured and raped and you decided to take advantage of the situation. Decided to rape Shirou for your own fun? How the hell are you going to explain to Shirou what you did?” The elongation of a snout, slitted blue eyes that narrowed at him, eyeing him as though he was nothing but the scum below his feet.

For the first time, he feared for his life. Heart in his throat as he started at the one that promised a slow and painful death. Throat dry as he tried to explain, tried to lie to the blond and tried to get away from the mess that he made of everything.

Neither he nor the blond heart the soft call of their names coming from the back of the hallway. Never noticing the presence of the one they were arguing about until he approached. Glancing over the heavyweight’s shoulder, seeing the pale look that crossed Shirou’s face, watching the wolf stumble and fall to his knees on the carpet below. The sharp intake of breath told him that the one he loved overheard what they were talking about and now knew.


	2. Chapter 2

When he opened the door to the home he shared with his wife and son, after being away on business, he wasn't expecting to feel the gloomy atmosphere and the sight of an angry blond holding back the words that he wanted to say.  Nearly dropping his small bag when he caught hands tightening into fists, curling tighter that could break and splinter bone if given the chance.  Nothing before him was what he had been expecting.  He knew what had been happening, Mischa keeping him updated.  From the doctor's visit to the confirmation.  But the sight of the reptile biting his lip and turning away, his son handing his head in his hands, almost down between his knees while his wife kept a steady gaze on Shirou's friend.

"S-so you were right?"  He spoke up to break up the tense silence that had been building, asking a question that he already knew the answer to.  A shift of a body and the voice that he had been hearing in his ear while he worked overseas was now spoken out loud for everyone to hear.  Looking at his wife, the press of lips as the female looked from their son towards him.  Seeing the anguish in her eyes before she turned her attention back on Shirou.

"Well, yes.  The thing is, he's only a month and a half along."  The hard look that she leveled at the blond, the uncomfortable atmosphere that started to grow.  "And now that Shirou knows, he's, well, not feeling very well."  Calculations that wouldn't add up and the urge to tell Shirou that the child he carries  _ _wasn't_ _ _ _ his rapist's child, but that of one close to him.  One that betrayed their child in the worst possible way.  The murmuring words and the rapid shake of shoulders, a hiss of frustration from the reptile that sat next to Shirou.  It was easy to tell, even without Mischa's words, that Shirou wasn't taking the news well.  And really, he thought to himself, who would?  How would anyone react to finding out they were pregnant by their rapist.  He wanted to break the silence and tell Shirou that it would be okay, that the nightmares would go away and everything would work out in the end.

But how could he actually say that to his son?  Never being on the receiving end of such treatment, never knowing the pain and terror that his son has felt.  There was no way he could say that.  The only thing he could do was be there for his son.  To show and silently give strength to his only child.  His thoughts turned to the blond, seeing blue eyes evaluate him.  Anger at both him and at Mischa, at the one who put Shirou through all the torment.  But underneath everything he could read in the heavyweight's narrowed eyes was the promise of retribution.  A feeling that he felt when he had stood at the edge of the bed just weeks before.  Standing at the foot of the bed, having watched the sick figure that lay comfortable under the few blankets that covered him.  He had told Mischa that he was going overseas to settle a problem with one of their hotels in Germany, which was true enough, but in the middle clearing up the mess and misunderstandings.  He didn't tell her that he made a side stop before heading towards the address he had requested from Mikkel's parents before their untimely demise.

The scientist that Nadya and Daimen had hired, money from the male's family, settled before they were slaughtered, went to the research and development of a cure.  To search and figure out how and why such an unknown disease struck those in hiding.  Snapping at their heals and desperate for any hope.  At the time he had wrinkled his nose at the smell that permeated the air, chemicals and the scent of trash that rose from the abandoned homes towards the outskirts of a small forgotten town.  Following the slightly younger male into the rather old house.  The door that was open for him, hearing the words of "thanks" for the specimen, alive, though at times seemed to be on the edge of madness.  Darkness that enveloped them as they worked further into the home, taking the steps down into the basement.  Ignoring the chill that rose in the air, barely catching what the man was saying as he rambled excitedly, his accent too thick to understand.  Not that it mattered anyway, more intent on finding out the fate of the one that nearly ripped apart their family.

Further down into the basement, the stronger the scent he caught became.  Almost nauseating, a scent that one would associate with death.  Decay.  But ringing with familiarity, resembling the scent he first caught in the hospital room.  At the bottom of the stairs, deep within the bowels of the home did the light from underneath the door and the pause at the door to the room.

"I'm sure you're as excited as I am-"  The words that held excitement, as though the man was conversing with a colleague and not the father of the man's victim.  "Errr, I," a swallow as the man tried to choose his words correctly, "please prepare yourself.  I-uh," a struggle to speak slowly so he could be understood, "the scent may be a little more overpowering when I open this door."

He nodded, reaching into his pocket and pulled out a small cloth to cover his nose.  The male must have been used to it to be unaffected by it, he noted to himself, hoping that the fabric would filter out the smell.  The click and turn of the knob, being open silently before the rush of light came at him.  The faint beeping of the machines that, once his eyes got used to the bright lights, were situated along side the bed where the monster lay.  Measuring the heart race and blood pressure as well as the small, almost steady drip of what could have been any drug into the sleeping figure.

It wasn't a slow build up of rage that hit him at the sight of the sleeping, "peaceful figure" on the bed, but a quick and almost rush like anger that filled him.  Dropping his hold on the cloth covering his nose, struggling to ignore the scent as he turned to the man.

"What the hell is this?"  A hiss through tightly clenched teeth, turning quickly on the startled male.  "I thought you were going to work on him?  You told me that "I'll experiment on him!  With a live specimen, there's a chance that I can find a cure, let me have the chance!"  That's what you told me!  Why does he  look like he's taking a peaceful nap?"  His voice rose quickly, almost drowning out the chuckle from the German scientist.  He wasn't expecting laughter and though he was angry, he was startled enough to listen and watch the man step forward.  The grasp of the blankets that covered Mikkel's figure.

"I guess one would think that, if you didn't understand what I've been doing.  He does look like he's sleeping peacefully.  But I understand your anger.  After all, after what he did to your son, the though of Mikkel getting treated like a guest would anger anyone.  He's been resisting me.  Well, resisting me when he's lucid anyway.  He's been quiet out of it, high fevers and all."  The tug of blankets, pulling the covers away from the sleeping figure's body.  He didn't bother smothering the sound of surprise and disgust that slipped free at the sight of the large incision from the base of Mikkel's stomach.  It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't inflamed and swollen.  Deep red, owing to blood that lay below,  being held open by force clamps and a plastic screen covering the opening of the male's body.  Swallowing back the bile that rose in his throat, watching the blood flow through the small tubes situated through Mikkel's organs and out the small openings of the cover.  Tubes that carried blood out and back in, woven through the rapist's body.

"Right now, he's heavily sedated.  In fact, he's been that way for the past two weeks.  It seems that he doesn't like the fact that his body is being held open like this.  But then," a chuckle as the man reached out, gently trailing a finger down the side of Mikkel's face, "how am I supposed to find out why his body produces a scent that resembles the scent of a decaying body.  Usually that scent is a hint of how fast the disease is progressing.   I just wonder where it's coming from."  The chuckle that the male had been giving off trailed off into a near cackle of laughter that held a note of hysteria and madness.  "But, you shouldn't fear!  I think I managed to stop the progression of it.  Though, I can't say if it'll be reversible."

Soujirou took a small step back as the man continued to gaze at the sleeping figure and for a brief moment, he felt a small twinge of pity.  Just small enough to give it no attention, preferring to keep his attention on the scientist as he seemed to forget that he was there.  For all the money that Mikkel's parents invested before dying, seeming that it was going to the man's attraction to a half dead body and not for a cure.  Clearing his throat to get his host's attention, watching the man's body stiffened in shock and the hand that had crept further up Mikkel's body drop to the side.

"A-anyway, I can show you.  I think I have a reason as to why he's been so aggressive towards the o-one-"  The man's words stumbled when he glared.  "Your son."  The hand that had been touching the unconscious wolf reached into a pocket of the bloodstained lab coat,and pulling out a small packet.  The scribble of words that were written on the packaging, small and in German, it was the whispered words that had him covering his nose when it was torn.  Watching with rapt interest as the younger male waved the smelling salts under Mikkel's nose.

"He may be heavily drugged, but I've been, well, let's just say that I've been training him to wake up at the smell of these.  You've seen what he's done to your son right?  Well, think of what I'm doing to Mikkel as revenge for you son."

He didn't have time to think on the man's words as the loud, pain filled gasp filled the nearly silent room.  The rapid beeping of the machines near the bed, picking up on the wolf's racing heart beat.  Curiosity got the better of him, turning his attention down to the covering on Mikkel's abdomen.  The rush of blood and twitching of muscles that looked sliced cleanly, despite the infection.  It was only when he heart the rough and hoarse voice of his son's rapist did he look up, keeping his expression neutral.  It wouldn't do any good to show the anger and rage at this hateful creature, no matter how pathetic and weak he looked at the moment.

"Y-you're back!"  The slurred speech, rasping  among the machines.  Amber eyes that widened when they landed on him, the struggle to get away from him, not that Mikkel could move much, being hooked up to machines and well, he couldn't hide the smile any more as the male groaned in pain.  "Y-you're here!  L-l-look, I-only did what I had to do."

Words that were filled with disgusting pleading was broken off by the fingers that slipped under the blankets.  Soujirou could only imagine what the man did to "calm" Mikkel down, though the pained face that the wolf showed him told him it wasn't good.

"Now, now, there's no point in trying to plead for your life," the scientist chided softly, smiling at the shudder that ran through Mikkel's body, "after all, we all know that you don't mean what you've been saying, right?  A drowning man will grasp at straw and you, who is stuck in this "hell" as you've one put it, will do whatever you can to get away.  You should have thought about that before you tortured his son.  But anything, this is  _ _**much** _ _ _ _ safer than to where you would be if you were sent to prison.  I mean, this is what you have to look forward to.  Fed daily and a warm bed.  Sure," a grin that once would have matched the smile that Mikkel would most likely give when he thought he had the upper hand, "you're at the whims of my moods, but it's the best chance you have."

The turn towards him, almost dismissing Mikkel.  "As you can see," a nod towards the docile wolf, "I'm learning much about him and disease that's ravaging him.  It's not easy, but since you saw what I did to his front, you should see this.  This, this is what you may call my masterpiece."

Mikkel's protesting was ignored, falling silent as the heavyweight's head was gently lifted.  Before looking at what the man was showing him, Soujirou caught the wide, amber eyes.  Fear that was filling the male's eyes, begging and pleading for him.  A good person would give in and try to help the one on the bed.  Would do whatever he or she could to save the man.  And though  _he_ was a good person,  _ he  _  didn't want to lift a finger to help the one that tried to tear his family apart.  Couldn't find it in himself to help the one that destroyed Shirou, pretending that he hadn't seen Mikkel's eyes, he turned his attention to what the scientist was trying to show him.  The lifting of a head and parting of what hair that fell from the front, showing him the plugs that had been inserted into the back of Mikkel's skull.  Crafted and inserted in such a way that one would have thought a team of surgeons had worked tirelessly on getting it just right.  A point to towards one of the monitors that surrounded the bed.

"His brain waves are monitored through these plugs and though it could have been monitored easily through Electroencephalography, by placing many multiple electrodes across, I felt this was more of a chance to get samples of tissue that was alive.  In the past, we were only able to get our hands on brain tissue after the patient has died.  But with this," a wave of a hand, "I can get the samples I desperately need for my research.  I guess you can consider that him, Mikkel, is my greatest treasure."

For the first time he caught sight of the insanity that Mischa had mentioned before, that others in search of a cure would drive themselves mad with the need to protect their work.  And though he guessed he should feel lucky that he got a chance to see what was becoming of the one that tore his son apart, he had to swallow disgust and nausea that rose up inside him.  The man before him, the one who called himself a scientist, seemed to take a more "special" interest in his patient, moving beyond the doctor slash scientist relationship with a patient.  He nodded, knowing that the man before him, smart as he was, was likely more crazy than he looked and was a perfect match for the one who tormented his son.

"You'll send us the results of your tests, correct?"  He already knew the answer, though he asked anyway, trying to break the uncomfortable mood that was building in the room.  Wondering what would happen if he wasn't there or that if the man would forget that he was in the room.  A small shudder ran up his spine as he received the nod and a wave of a hand towards the paperwork that covered a desk that he had overlooked when he first entered the room.

"Of course you'll get the results.  While his parents funded my research, I was a little surprised that your wife took control of the flow of funding.  I thought that with them being ah, passed on, I would have unlimited access to the money I need to continue."  A forced smile that failed to reach dark eyes, the sudden nervousness that seemed to be exude without the man knowing.  "There's so much I have to do,  _ _years_ _ _ _ of research.  So I hope that you're satisfied with what I've presented to you.  And what I'll continue to send you."  Though the man's voice seemed to be just nervous jitters, friendly in the face of a heavyweight, he could detect the animosity that the man failed to hid.  Keeping his tongue in check, knowing that it was better to keep his questions to himself.  They weren't questions about the research that the man was doing but more wondering what he had done to Mikkel that wasn't research.  He only nodded, knowing that deep down he really didn't want to know.

Waiting patiently as the man gently placed Mikkel's head back down on the pillow, noticing that the one proud, arrogant and selfish wolf was now reduced to being the lab rat to a man who was a little crazier than him.  And, catching the caressing of fingertips, a unwilling bed mate for his doctor.  Stepping back as the man approached him, attempting to breath through his nose as Mikkel's scent wafted towards him before following the man out.  As soon as the door clicked behind him and before he could step away, he heard the start up of the screams, hoarse and hollow.  Screams that most likely sounded like Shirou's screams and begging when he tried to get away.  Disgust that hadn't faded in his time in the room flared up inside him, knowing that the one that lay on the bed was getting what he deserved.

~~

Memories of what he had witnessed in Germany, inside that room burrowed deep underneath the house that the man occupied, were forced back when he caught the incline of the blond's head.  Silently telling him the answer to the question he was thinking.  That it was the one he and Mischa thought it was.  His hold on his control slipped briefly as he looked around for the one who caused Shirou's torment, angered that he wasn't there.

"He doesn't know," the mutterings of the blond that pushed past him, "your wife doesn't want Shirou to know that it was his friend that did this to him.  That it was  _ _him_ _ _ _ that impregnated Shirou.  And while I'm torn about it, I've agreed to what she wanted of me.  Though tell her that I don't appreciate being threatened if I were to tell him.  I don't want Shirou and my son held above my head."  A look towards Shirou's stricken form on the seat.  "Look how devastated he is right now.  How will he react to the news that his friend betrayed his trust."   The low rumbling in the male's broad chest, one that he had found out that only reptiles of such strength could produce, a sound that resembled one of possessiveness.  "I don't want to keep it from him, I would rather tell Shirou what his friend has done to him.  But the threat of not seeing Shirou again, of seeing him and my son is keeping me from saying anything.  Your wife may not have put it into words that I won't be able to see the both of them again, but it was in her tone.  Her order to keep it from Shirou.  And," a shake of a head as blue eyes narrowed at Mischa, "I doubt Shirou would believe me if I were to tell him anyway.  But I will tell him if I feel that his friend is putting Shirou's life in danger.  If he even gets close to my son, I'll do what I think is right.  Even if that means breaking an order she issued."  Maturity rang in the young male's words, reminding him that just because he was you didn't mean that he was immature.

"So... you're serious about Shirou then?"

A short nod was his answer, followed by the brief coloring to the male's cheeks, embarrassment in being caught in being emotional.  Watching blue eyes turn towards Shirou before the heavyweight made his way back to Shirou's side.  An unspoken answer, emotions that the reptile had finally come to to the realization.  Acting completely different to when he first met the male.  Stepping closer to Mischa's side, feeling her body stiffen under his touch.

"I can't believe it," the mutter under his mate's voice, "welcoming him into our home and treating him like family.  I-I honestly don't know how Shirou's going to take it."  The words slipped free before his wife moved, leaving him to follow her.  Shooting a look at Shirou and the blond before closing the door behind him.  He wasn't expecting to feel Mischa's arms wrap around him and pull him into her arms.  "I had wished that you were here when I found out," a murmur against the side of his neck, lips that he knew to be soft pressed a kiss to his skin, "I had to be strong for Shirou and-and I'm so tired of all this.  All this betrayal.  B-but this isn't about me."  A humorless chuckle escaped from her, wrapping his arms around his slightly smaller wife.

"How could I believe such words that he said?  That he would accept a child that wasn't his by blood.  I'm such a fool.  But Shirou, Shirou's going to have such a hard time getting over this.  His body is having a hard enough time, recovering from what Mikkel had done to him and recovering from having Tadakuni.  If we were to tell Shirou that who did this all to him, to tell him that it was his best friend that violated him in the ways that his rapist had done to him.  Did you see him, Soujirou?"  Mischa pulled back enough to look up at him, tears slipping down her cheeks.  "It was Oushou- it was him that got Shirou to open up.  What will he do when he finds out?"

"This-this will break him," he answered into Mischa's hair, feeling the strands as he nuzzled his wife, "has he been around lately?"  His question asked as he lead his lover away from the room and the hallway, down the corridors that would soon lead them to their room.

"Before you say anything, it has to be him.  There's no other possibility.  With all the hired security around, it was us and those two.  I even contacted the doctors, the one who examined Shirou just before he was released and  _ _**nothing** _ _ .   _ _**Nothing** _ _ _ _ was out of the norm with our son before leaving the hospital.  Blood tests and the visit to the doctor, the checkup, it confirmed what I- what we suspected."  The lull of silence as he stepped inside, closing the door to their room quickly.  Trying to ignore the flaring of anger at the betrayal, the disregard to their relationship.  To Shirou's needs.  To the needs of a child that, at the moment and for a while, would become unwanted.  Anger at Shirou's middleweight friend that they had trusted for years.  Words slowly filtered through his mind, imagining scenarios of a confrontation between him and the snake.  Letting his imagination plan on what he really wanted to do to the male.  And while he knew he couldn't do what he really wanted to do, couldn't get away with punishing the young male as Mikkel was being punished.

News of the unplanned child, he was still getting used to his grandson that he loved.  Loving a child that took the form his family had held for generations, their breed seeming to get stronger and tighter with every generation and now this.  He had to get used to a child, a grandchild that would most likely not take their form.  And while he really didn't have a problem with that, it was the fact that this was forced onto his son without having a choice.  A child that would be raised, a chance that Shirou would look down and hate the offspring he didn't want.

"Don't count Shirou out, Mischa.  Our son is strong,  _ stronger  _ than we give him credit for.  This may be harder than we think and our son will struggle, but we'll have to be there for him.  To show Shirou that we still care and love him, no matter what."

A murmured sound of agreement.  "Still, i have a feeling that this will get even bigger than we both think."

Though he kept his mouth shut, he silently agreed to Mischa's words.  Knowing that when Shirou finds out, if he did find out, his whole world may shatter.

~

He couldn't get rid of the numb feeling that had started to seep into him, refusing to stop.  Pulling him to the side where nothing matter any more.  Nothing but to push the memories of what he had learned away, that it wasn't his thoughts and memories bombarding him.  It couldn't be his, no, it had to be the memories of someone else.  Barely feeling the brush of a hand against his cheek and he briefly thought, comparing it and failing to match the touch in his dreams.  Fingers curling at his sides, attempting to dig away and bring back the times where the news he received was good.

"Shirou," the voice that sounded so far away, pulling memories from the back of his mind, of a time and date, though he couldn't place it, "you can get through this, I know you can.  Just-just lean on me, alright?  I'm here for you."  Strength in the male's voice, almost forcing him to open his eyes.  The familiar surroundings of his room, the firm mattress below.  When did he get to his room?  The last thing he could remember, could think before his mother broke the news to him, was sitting in the living room.  At the time, he didn't question to why the blond heavyweight was there.  And he really didn't need to think as to why he was there, knowing that the heavyweight was trying to court him.

"M-Madarame?"  His voice hoarse, as though he had been screaming and wishing he had a glass of water.  As though the blue eyed reptile was reading his thoughts, a glass of water was handed to him.  Silently thanking the blond, drinking down the cool liquid before handing the empty glass back to Yonekuni.

"You passed out for a while," an explanation as to why he was in his room, ignoring the fluttering in his chest at the thought of the blond carrying up the stairs to his room, "but I mean it, you know.  About leaning on me, that I'm here for you.  You can-"

"I'm pregnant with my rapist's child, Madarame!"  His voice cried out, sound more like a hysterical woman than a teenage male, but at the moment, that didn't matter.  "I've seen the looks you've sent me.  I-with what happened to me, you're repulsed a-and disgusted with my body."  Forcing a smile that pained him, looking down and away from the intense look the blond was giving him, he didn't see the concern that was mixed in.  Didn't see the worry and wondering.

"What can I do to make you think differently?  Do you know how angry I was when we found you?  Or how pissed off I am at your  _ _**fucking friend** _ _ -"  A spat of a curse before the almost violent shake of a head.  "What I feel about your friend shouldn't matter right now, but don't trust him!"  The passion in the reptile's voice, startling him, watching the heavyweight press his lips tightly, most likely holding back what he wanted to say.  Why shouldn't he trust Oushou?  Why shouldn't he trust the one who saved him?  It was Oushou that helped him in the hospital, calmed him when he had a nightmare.  Was there when he awoke, a strangled cry leaving his lips.  Opening his mouth to ask before he felt the shifting of the bed, a deep guttural rumble that filled the silent room.  A sound that was meant as a warning and not for him.  He wanted to look, to see who caused the crocodile to defensive.

"What the hell are you doing here?"  Catching the spark of a flare, the soul that just begged to be released, to be shown and force the one who took the brunt of anger in his place.  "Didn't you learn the first warning I gave you?"

"Warning?"  Licking his lips, struggling to get his voice heard over the rising tension.  "What're you two talking about," moving away from the two as they sized each other up in a show that was on the verge of violence, "why do I get the feeling-"

"Don't worry about it, Shirou," the struggle to keep his voice calm and in check, the curling of fists at the blond's sides, "bring Tadakuni with you when you visit."  Before he could question the strange behavior, the blond brushed away the hand that he had laid on his arm and was now grasping, clenching onto Oushou's shoulder.  The flinching and the harsh exchange of words that were purposely low, preventing him from listening in.  A shove towards the wall, a painful sound before the blond paused, sparing him no attention and shot a look over his shoulder.

"Stay away from my son.  You may think you can fool him, but I  _ don't _  want you around either of them.  He still hasn't chosen me, but I'm warning you just this once and only once,  _don't_ _ _fuck with what's mine_ _ ."  Fingers that were curling even deeper into Oushou's shoulder, the faintest of sounds, almost resembling a whimper before the hand dropped away.  A brief glance at him, now able to see the worry that the blond had been wearing before a silent sigh.  "I'm surprised that you even showed your face here.  You have no shame, you'll get it in the end."

Despite the harsh words and the tense atmosphere between the both reptiles, the door closed quietly behind the blond, clicking shut.  He waited for a moment, mind racing with what he saw.  He was so sure, so sure that the blond had been disgusted with what had happened to him.  Disgusted and repulsed with what lay permanently on his back, a reminder of what he been through and what others may or would call him if they were to find out.  "W-what, no.  I want to know what's going on between you and him.  M-Madarame.  There's something going on a-and I feel like I'm the only one that doesn't know.  And before you say anything, d-does it have anything to do with me carrying Mikkel's child?"

In the silence of his room, his words echoed and he became aware that he had almost shouted the questions.  He didn't catch the flinch on Oushou's face, moving past his still friend when the sound came from the other side of the room.  Towards the bassinet and to where his and Yonekuni's child slept.  Parting the cloth and seeing the child sleep, almost fitfully before sighing in relief.  He was still learning much about madararui children, despite having grown up around other madararui all his life.  With the tension and nearly flare of a soul, he was glad that the sleeping child hadn't picked up on what was going on between them.  And though he watched Tadakuni sleep, he still couldn't get past the devastating news.  Almost soul breaking, forced to carry his rapist's child.  A child he didn't want.

"I-I don't know, Shirou," words that fell easily from his lips in the form of a lie, watching his best friend look down at the small child, "I never really gotten along with Madarame."  Oushou ignored the chuckling of his soul gave, the shifting of coils as the snake that he was hissed in pleasure, seeing the confusion that filled the wolf.  'What would he do when he finds out?  That he broken-'

"Oushou?"

The call of his name, snapping out of his guilty thoughts and forced a smile he didn't feel on his face.  Noticing the pale, almost pasty look the wolf wore and the faintest of trembling of Shirou's body.  "I'm fine, but you look like you need to lie down."  Guilt swallowed back that started to rise back up, churning his stomach at the look of relief and gratefulness that crossed the heavyweight's face.  Stepping towards the one he loved, urging Shirou towards the bed.  "A-neither me nor Madarame are disgusted by you, Shirou.  You should know by now that I love.  I've loved you for years a-and I'm sure that Madarame feels the same way."  His body tensed at the admission, not wanting to think about Shirou finding out what he did to him.  It was bad enough that the blond suspected him.

No, not suspected him, Madarame  _ _knew_ _ _ _ what he did to Shirou.  The warning, threat and the painful bruising of his bone, one that he would feel for weeks to come.  The pressing of a hand against a stomach, a loud audible gulp and the nod of a head.  Pushing away his discomfort and guilt, he grasped Shirou's hand and pulled the wolf into his arms, attempting to comfort him.  But the minute his arms were closed around Shirou's back, through the thin cloth that the male wore, feeling the raised scars along the male's back.

"S-Shirou!"

Rapid intake of break, the stiffening of the heavyweight's body as Shirou struggled to pull away.  Movement of lips, parting and the silent cry, catching pale eyes widen and unable to recognize him.  "N-n-no!"  A mutter as the heavyweight wretched away from him and searched around, backing away from him.  He could only watch helplessly as the wolf relived what he went through.  Mutterings of what he couldn't hear, reaching into his pocket for the bag of pills that he got from his brother's coworker.

"S-Shirou, it's me."  He struggled to keep his voice calm and low, reasoning as he stepped forwards towards the panicked male and forced out his soul in the hopes of comforting the heavyweight.  If Shirou was reliving the memories of the kidnapping and the torture, hopefully he would also remember that his tormentor was a wolf and not a snake.  "You're safe, Shirou.  P-please see me.   _ He  _ can't hurt you any more."  A thrill of excitement of reaching Shirou, of showing the traumatized male that  _ he  _ could and would be the right one to be chosen.  A part of himself was disgusted with his thoughts and actions, taking advantage of the one he loved while he was in such a state.  Reaching out a hand, attempting to gently touch Shirou and calm him down.  A flinch and look of confusion, seeing the male tightly close his eyes and try to control his breathing.  So Shirou understood a little that he wasn't a threat.

"O-"  The harsh whisper, the opening of eyes and movement, catching the male as Shirou stumbled and fell into his arms.  Using what strength that he had, struggling to keep from falling over.  Despite being the same age as Shirou, he lacked the strength that his friend had, lacked what actual heavyweights had.  His brother may be a half-heavyweight type and he was lucky enough to be on the border.  He himself wasn't so lucky.

"Shhh..." he whispered, gently guiding Shirou back to the bed that he once shared with the male and gently lowered the trembling form to the bed.  Brushing away the hair that fell across Shirou's forehead, the seeping warmth left him wanting more than just a little taste.  Reluctantly pulling his hand away, he couldn't try anything right now.  Reaching into his pocket for the bag of pills, ones that resembled the ones that were prescribed to Shirou.  The guild that rose up inside him as he grabbed the cup of water that stood off to the side and a pill from the bag.  Swallowing and hoping that the male wouldn't see the discomfort and guilt that was etched along his face.  Steeling himself, he turned and held out the cup and the small pill.

"Here you go, Shirou," slowly rousing the exhausted male, "this will make you feel better."  Trying to match his expression with his words, Oushou watched Shirou rub his eyes.  Cautious and questioningly, a quick glance to the orange bottle that lay to the side, on the edge of the nightstand, waiting to be  thrown away before hearing the murmured words of thanks.  A swallow of water and the pill that followed, pulling blankets up Shirou's body as the heavyweight laid back down and closed his eyes.  Holding his breath as his hand moved, freezing when the male gave a whimper.  He shouldn't be doing this, the reaction Shirou gave when he found out he was pregnant again, thinking that the child belonged to his rapist.  How would the one he loved react if-no, not if.  Shirou was bound to find out.  How would the wolf react when he found out the child was  _ _his_ _ ?  The betrayal that the wolf would show, their friendship that had lasted years would be gone.  Everything that had been built since first meeting the wolf would be ruined.

Once he was sure that Shirou had drifted off into a dreamless sleep, he slipped his hand underneath the blanket and inched the male's clothing down.  Struggling to ignore his guilty conscious, his hand came to a rest above where his child lay, wishing he could feel the pulse of life.  Glancing  at the closed door before taking the chance to lean in and brush his lips across Shirou's slightly parted lips, wishing deep down that everything would turn out the way he had hoped and dreamed.  That Shirou won't hold a deep seated grudge against him for forcing this upon him without his consent.  Closing his eyes and resting his head against the bed.  If only for a moment could he think that everything, that this and what was to come was wanted and welcomed with open arms.

Barely hearing the whimper from Shirou's pup, reminding him that he couldn't just rest here like he used to.  Couldn't consider this a second home like he did when he was a kid.  The cold treatment that he received from Shirou's parents and the threatening words and actions that Shirou's self proclaimed suitor gave him.  Reluctantly pulling his hand away from where his child lay and rose to his feet, quietly making his way back to the door.  Giving the sleeping male one last look, he slipped out and away from the room, determined in keeping Shirou from finding out what he did to him.

~~

He struggled to try to summon the energy and the enthusiasm when he got the news of passing one of the exams that his tutor gave him.  An encouraging smile that faltered to that of a worried one.  "Don't feel discouraged, Shirou-kun," the worried smile that the cat gave him one would think was condescending if not for the narrowing and worry in her eyes, "passing one but trouble on another is fine.  We can review before the rest of your work is submitted for review.  But let's worry about that later."  Her voice trailed off before he heard the scraping of a chair as his tutor stood up and walked over to him, kneeling down at his side

"Are you feeling alright, Shirou-kun?  It feels as though you're half out of it."  The feel of a hand on his forehead, the cool touch and the sharp clearing of a throat, feeling the presence of his mother in the doorway.  "If your son isn't feeling well, we'll stop his lessons for now.  It would be pretty pointless for him to try to study when he can barely concentrate-"  He looked up to see the cat worry her bottom lip.  "No, let me rephrase my words.  Is he on any sort of medication?  And if he is, what type of medication is he taking?  It's just lately, just a few weeks ago, he was eager to catch up with his classmates.  To get back on track.  But today, he's not the same."

"He's going through some problems," a lack of warmth from his mother had him curling his hands in his lap at the lack of emotion, as though she was trying to distance herself from him.  Treating him as if he was nothing more than a child that continued to cause problems for everyone.

"I figured that out myself.  But he shouldn't be this out of it, unless he's having a bad reaction to what he's been prescribed.  What prescription was he given?"

Why couldn't anyone ask  _ _him_ _ ? Uncurling one fist and reaching into his pocket, uncaring that the two woman seemed to wait on an answer from the other.  One of the pills that he had been taking now lay in the palm of his hand, having slipped it in there when he took the first dose in the morning.  Holding out his hand, he waited for a moment for the two to notice and when they didn't, he cleared his throat and spoke up.

"These," his voice rose to catch his mother's attention as well as his tutor's, "I-I've been taking these.  I-" he licked his lips before forging on, "I thought I was out of them.  I-I was so certain that they were all gone.  That I had no more."  Under both women's scrutiny, Shirou offered the pill he was going to take later that day.

"Do you mind if I take this and find out  _ what  _ the properties are?"  The question from his tutor, seeing the narrowing of eyes as the cat started to work out the formulations in her head.

"I told the the doctor he's been seeing that he needs to be weened off of it.  Shirou!"

Forcing himself not to flinch at the sharp tone of his mother's voice, despising the fact that the both of the women made him feel like a victim.  Despite what happened to him, it felt as though everyone was treating him as though he was broken or about to break.  It didn't occur to him that  _ _this_ _ _ _ was indeed the case, that they were afraid of what could happen.

"Shirou, you said you thought you were certain they were out, correct?"

He nodded and turned his back on the two.  "I could have sworn that I was out when I opened it, but there was a small hand full of pills inside the bottle."  Scratching his head, confused and struggling to remember.  He didn't mention that that he could have sworn that he had thrown the bottle away when the pills were gone.  Or he was going to throw it out.  Biting down on the inside of his cheek, remembering it was the sight of the bottle sitting on his nightstand, as it always has since he had first gotten it, right where it had always been had him doubting his memory.

"When was this, Shirou?  Did Aogiri-san-no, did Oushou stop by any time to visit you?"  The slight tremble in his mother's voice, catching the mouthing words that Hikari-san sent him and the piece of paper that she pulled out and placed on the table.

"I-" he started before stopping, struggling to remember, knowing that he knew, deep down, but just out of reach.  "I-I know that I know, but," he looked up and bit his lips, staring into eyes so like his, "w-why can't I remember?"  Hating the pleading tone his voice took on, struggling to remember the past few weeks.  He could vaguely remember the attack and the rape,  the torture that Mikkel put him through.  Just enough to haunt his dreams, strong enough to wake him from the nightmares that haunted him.  He could remember the devastating news that his mother told him, of being pregnant and the comforting words that came from someone.  Who was it though?  T-The hand that was on his knee and the brush of lips against his cheek.

He didn't hear the words his mother spoke, pushing up to stand before quietly walking out of the room, leaving his mother and child behind.  The call of his name, waving away her concern as he headed up the stairs to his room.  The problem of not being able to remember, fear and confusing, the dreams that came to him every night.  Dreams that never failed to confuse him.  Into his room and seeing the bottle of pills that they'd been discussing, waiting to be taken.  Was his memory this bad before he started taking them?  Unable to answer his own questions, he turned his head and thoughts back to the dreams.  Swallowing and laying down on the bed, closing his eyes and hoping that he could remember if he slept.

~~

A hand that ran along his chest, moving down and splaying across his stomach while another hand cupping his cheek.  Through blurry eyes, catching the movement of lips, words he could barely make out before the head ducked out of his line of vision.  Feeling his shirt being pushed up, baring his skin to the cool air of the hospital.  A dip in the bed and the presence of a body above him, he should be panicking, remembering what he went through at the hands of a mad man.  But the heaviness he felt in his lips, sluggishness and the feeling as he didn't care, which he knew wasn't the case.  He briefly wondered if the one above him was forcing himself to this when his legs were slowly parted.  Gentle fingers caressed his stomach, whispered words, promises that he couldn't hear and the warm breath against the nearly invisible stitches that closed his stomach after the surgery.

"Shirou?"

An echo of his name, sounding as though the one who was calling him was far away.  Trying his best to ignore the call, it was the hand on his shoulder that pulled him from his dreams and sleep.  The shaking of his shoulder once more before opening his eyes, the worried look that the older wolf wore and the phone he held out.

"I'm sorry to wake you, Shirou.  Though you, uh, seem to be enjoying the dream," it took him a moment to realize what his father was saying before he pulled the blanket closer, covering up his lap, "there's a phone call for you.  Your tutor needs to talk to you.  She's rather insistent that you take this call."

Swallowing thickly before nodding, taking the offered phone.  Before he could open his mouth to speak, the familiar sound of the cat's voice had him pausing.

"Shirou-kun, do you remember handing me that pill a few days ago?  I talked to my professor and the doctor, your doctor and after some research, we found that the drug your taking is a extreme modified version of citalopram systemic.  Your mother mentioned to your doctor that you've been taking citalopram systemic and that, according to the paperwork that was sent with your file, is a very low dose."  The pause in words as the cat let the words sink in before continuing.  "While this is legal, the drug is barely legal here in Japan.  The sample that you gave us is at least three times that of what your regular dose.  You've been only taking one at a time, right?  Well, the way they created these, it's been upped to almost the max of what a person can handle.  One of the extreme side effects is that of known memory loss and interrupted sleep."

Nearly dropping the phone at what was being spoken, gripping it tightly in his fingers and despite the bad news that was given, he gave a silent sigh of relief.  So he wasn't imagining things, wasn't at fault for not remembering simple conversations and things that had happened weeks back.  For a brief moment, a flash of fear at remembering things he didn't want to remember.  It took him a moment to notice that the woman had been talking and struggled to understand what she was saying.

"-Think twice about taking the medication.  Sure, you can forget and while that may be nice, you don't want everything in your life suppressed.  All your memories, happy and sad, devastating and everything in between, that's no way to live.  Shirou-kun, I-I don't know what happened to you and my heart goes out to you, but you should face your fears head on.  Don't let them win."  The faint crack int he woman's voice and Shirou wondered what happened and if the woman was speaking from experience.  "Though I've only known you a short time, y-your stronger than you let on.  Don't let them win, Shirou-kun.  Don't let that drug rule your life and your memories.  Precious and horrible, they are important.  Don't let your fears rule the way you live."  Barely hearing the murmured excuse and the near sob, the click in his ear as the woman hung up.

The memory of what happened weeks ago, almost months ago it felt like, was dim.  Not as vivid as it should be while the memories of the week prior was, while not gone, were hazy and just out of reach.  Staring down at the phone before turning his attention to the bottle of pills that lay tipped over, reaching out to right the bottle and paused.  Each pill that lay in that small orange bottle, each one that would block his memory.  Did-did he actually want to remember the rape?  Remember the brutal way he was used and tortured?  Seeing and hearing the rattling, realizing that at that moment, he was running away from everything that had happened, from himself.

"Weak," a rough mutter before throwing the bottle against the wall, jerking himself up when he heard the whimper.  He was doing exactly what his tutor asked him not to do.  Running away when he had Tadakuni to take care of and another, one that he  _ _**didn't** _ _ _ _ want and loathed to carry.  Shirou buried his head in his hands and took a deep breath, the fear at the thought of reliving the horror and remembering what he had to do to get away.  Feeling himself trembling, he forced himself to his feet and waited for the room to stop spinning before continuing.  The whimper that had pulled him, keeping himself from turning and grab one of the many pills that lay scattered across the carpet.  Just one would continue the blissful feeling, ignorance to everything that was happening to him and around him.  But the thought of letting everything that was haunting him win, leaving his son to be raised by his parents, of never knowing what could come.  Of never showing his son that he was wanted and was loved pushed him on.  He didn't realize that during his thoughts his body had moved, falling to his knees before the small bassinet that held his pup.

~~

"You haven't really heard what he's been saying, have you Shirou?"

Oushou questioned him just days later, his arms wrapped around the tiny bundle he held in his arms.  Stepping away from the curb and the car that slowly pulled away with the promise to be by later to take him home.  Shirou glanced up at the large apartment complex and the apartment that belonged to the blond heavyweight.  Doubts lingered in his mind, fueled by Oushou's words.  Though his friend hadn't been by the house since he had caught him in his arms, he kept him in the loop of what Madarame had been saying.  And what he hasn't been saying.  It never occurred to him that he shouldn't be listening to such poisoned words, especially when he only knew one side of the story.

But with the slow withdrawals from the medication, remembering what he had been forced to forget were coming back, leaving him not wanting to question the snake on his hate for the blond reptile.  Taking a deep breath, releasing it quietly before looking at Oushou and the impatient look that he wore.

"I haven't been there, Oushou.  But you've been telling me, filling me in.  Right now, though, I-"  licking his bottom lip nervously, he hadn't told his friend that the heavyweight had been courting him, visiting when he didn't have to work.  The complete change in attitude, challenging the memories that were slowly coming back.

_ _"N-No!  That child can't be mine!"_ _

Echoes of dreams that were once suppressed by the prescription drugs were now coming back, the dreams that confused him were pushed away as he tried to focus on what lay ahead of him.

"Anyway," trying to put more confidence in his voice than he actually felt, as though he was trying to convince Oushou as well as himself, "he's the father of my son and I need and want to have a good relationship with him-"

A choked  sound from the one to his side, catching the paling of skin and the stumbling of the snake's steps.  His soul stirred, urging him to question why his words would cause a reaction such as that in his friend, his one time lover.  Forcing himself not to flush at his thoughts at what he was remembering, carefully taking the stairs towards the apartment that the blond heavyweight shared with his brother.  The muffled curse from behind him, hearing the displeasure that Oushou vocalized.  The rivalry that his friend showed, anger and almost hidden desperation that Oushou failed to hide.

"Shirou-"  the hand on his elbow, stopping and forcing his arms to tense and tighten to keep from dropping his son.  In a few weeks, he wouldn't need the protective blankets.  "Before you enter, you must know something.  Madarame-he's, well, he's going to try to lie to you. W-whatever you do, don't believe him, okay?"  For the first time, the sight of the snake's eyes, being slightly wide and more than a little wild, a look that he never say the snake wear before.  "I know he's going to try to court you-  I mean, he's already courting you, but I feel like as though he has the upper hand."

An uncomfortable feeling started to rise in his chest, words spoken in a rush and setting off his instincts that, if had been fully aware, would have ran away.

"I was wondering what was keeping you," the smooth and deep drawl from behind Oushou saved him from shaking off Oushou's worries.  Sneaking a look at the expression that the blond wore, the look of pure loathing, a match that Oushou wore with a faint spark of fear, as though the middleweight was just now realizing he was standing up against a top heavyweight.  A spark of a chuckle rose up in his chest at the absurdity of Oushou standing up against Madarame.

But when the two continued to measure each other up, one that towered over the other, the spark of power and on the brink of a fight.  Two males fighting over a female and most would have placed their money on the strongest winning.  But he, torn between the stronger male, the father of his son and the one that proclaimed to have feelings for him and another.  His friend, best friend and first lover.  The reiterated words, of saying that  _ _**he'd** _ _ _ _ welcome his son with open arms.  Catching the look that the crocodile shot him, as though asking him why he brought his friend before forcing away the displeasure.

"Anyway, I'm glad you're here."

The brief touch to the small of his back, just below the scars that lay hidden underneath his clothing, as though the blond was being cautious of what he didn't want to think about.

"Let me see him," he spoke quietly, low enough so Shirou's friend wouldn't hear him, "I haven't had a chance to be by lately."  He didn't tell Shirou that he picked up another shift at his work and a part time job.  No matter how many times he thought about it, he could never get rid of the guilty feeling he got when he thought about his treatment of the wolf just months ago.  Of denying his blood as his own.  Holding the door open for his one time lover, though he hoped that it wouldn't be just that one time and heard the quiet conversation between his brother and Noririn quietly die down until the silence reigned.  He didn't have to look over his shoulder to know that Shirou stiffened, an uncomfortable look under the weight of the two cats stares.

"Is that him, Yonekuni-senpai?"  The small at spoke up, turning and catching the worried look that the wolf shot him.  He nodded his answer, licking his bottom lip before offering more information, unsure how the canine would react.

"His name is Tadakuni," he offered, keeping his voice calm as not to disturb his sleeping pup, "I-uh, think it's perfect for him."  The pride in his voice, gently taking the wolf pup from Shirou's arms into his arms.  He didn't look up to see his brother's reaction as he gazed down at the sleeping pup, the fine fur that was coming in, showing the patterns that his coat would soon produce.  It was the sound of his brother clearing his throat, reminding him that Kunimasa wanted to meet and see his nephew.  Wonder bloomed in the jaguar's dark eyes, the longing glance that the nekomata sent to the returner to ancestry.  It wasn't a secret that Kunimasa longed to continue his line, especially wit his lover.

"You said that you hoped that he'll have your looks, Yonekuni?"

The rumbling question, dark eyes that darted towards Shirou, confused about the second male.  Moving away from his brother, leaving his son in careful eyes and moved closer to Shirou.  He couldn't ignore the bristling of anger as he caught the ducking of the snake's head as Shirou's friend whispered words that seemed to smooth the agitation that the heavyweight felt.  Leaning closer, luck was on his side when the middleweight failed to notice him leaning in.  Catching the words, watching Shirou's pale eyes go wide and dart towards him.  The pleading and silent begging, silently asking why.  Grasping the male by his hand and gently tugged, urging Shirou to follow him so he could answer the question that the male wanted to ask.

The hand that had started to reach up and out, attempting to stop him from leading Shirou away had him curling his lip in disgust, baring his teeth in a show of dominance over the snake.

"Keep your hands off of him, you fucking rapist!"  The word left his lips before he could stop himself, revealing just a little of what he knew.  He had hoped that Shirou wouldn't hear or pay attention to what he said, hoped that the heavyweight wouldn't question his choice of words before pulling Shirou along, his fingers curled gently cradling the male's wrist.  It wouldn't do to hurt and bruise Shirou, it helped that the male didn't put up much of a resistance as he lead him down the hall, closing the door behind them quietly.

"He hasn't hurt you Shirou, has he?"

It ate him up inside, knowing that the male's mother forbade him from mentioning that the father of Shirou's child wasn't who it he thought it was.  And the fact that the silent message he got from her, the threat of never seeing his son and seeing Shirou again was what kept him from telling the male the truth.

"M-Madarame!"

The calling of his name, bringing him out of his thoughts and to the color of the male's cheeks, embarrassed.  Pulling his hands away when the male shot him a look.  Taking a seat next to Shirou, struggling to speak and cursing himself, he had the words on the tip of his tongue.

"W-what do you- no.  I mean, why did you call Oushou a rapist?  S-something is going on that you- everyone is not telling me."

A question he wanted to and was prepared to answer, but the thought of having the two taken away from him before his eyes had him clamping his mouth shut.  "I-I want to tell you.  I want to and I can't stand to think and see you-"  Swallowing hard, reaching out to grasp Shirou by his shoulders and pulled the heavyweight into his arms.  "I'm going to say this and though your mother doesn't want me to say anything, I'll tell you what I know."  He took a deep breath before tilting Shirou's head up.

"Everything you know,  _ _everything_ _ _ _ that has been told to you is a lie.  Don't let yourself be fooled in to a relationship with that snake.  The child you carry, here," his hand rested along the small swell along Shirou's stomach, "isn't' what you think it is.  Look deep into your memory and see.  Remember what you can and see.  Your parents are hiding something, in the hopes of protecting you from something that you can't control."  He silently cursed to himself at the trembling of his hands, the almost pleading in his voice.

"Look, see  _ me _ .  You don't know how much I regret the treatment I put you through in school.  I should have been there for you, should have escorted you to the hospital.  I should have felt my son in side you, should have held your hand when you needed support.  Shirou," leaning closer and brushing up against parted lips, tasting what he hadn't had a chance to taste in months.  "That bastard you call a friend is the-"

The slamming of his bedroom door caught his attention, jerking his head back and looking over Shirou's shoulder, catching sight of the angered middleweight that stood in the doorway.  Missing the heat when Shirou pulled back, confusion written on his face, torn between two males.

"Y-you're just trying to distract me.  You haven't even answered my questions.  W-why did you call Oushou a rapist?  A-and the most in important thing, why-"  he could hear the thick swallow as Shirou  stood up and took a few steps back away from the bed, "w-why?  Why did you tell them?  Did you honestly think that your  _ brother  _  needed to know what happened to me?"  The desperate words, hearing the male's voice waver before Shirou shook his head.

"L-look, the two of you are telling me different things.  O-Oushou is telling me that I shouldn't believe a word you tell me.  That you'll do whatever it takes to get what you want.  But y-y-you," the stuttering of the wolf's voice, the bright flush as Shirou remembered what he had done, the soft kiss and the want, the passion that lay underneath, "you're doing the exact same thing!"

" _ _**Don't compare me to him!** _ _ "  Words snapped out like a whip, catching the almost disgruntled male flinch and pale even further, stepping back in to the arms of the middleweight snake.  "I-look, I'm nothing like your friend,  _ nothing _ .  I'm not the type to do things behind your back.  If I  _ _want something_ _ , I'll talk to you first."  Though he looked Shirou in the eyes, his words were directed to the snake.  Narrowing his eyes at the avoiding of his, setting him off and pushing to his feet.  About to step forward, ready to reach out and pull the confused male to him, seeing that Shirou's friend was ready to do the same thing.

"Yonekuni?"

The brief knock to his open door, the presence of his brother seemed to destroy whatever fight was left in the snake.  He, on the other hand, was ready to fight until he won, but the sight of his son in his brother's arms stopped him.  "Is everything alright here?  You're- uh, startling your pup."  Tension that had been building drained away, looking away in shame.  He was better than this, letting this pathetic middleweight get such an easy rise out of him.

"I didn't mean to tell him," a mutter looking back at Shirou, "but let me ask you this-  Aren't you at least the little bit suspicious of your friend?  Hasn't he acted different lately?  Still acting as though he's  _ guilty  _ of something.  I know your mother has forbidden him from visiting.  So how has he been getting in?   _ _**Don't** _ _ _ _ you have any type of doubts?  You feel it in your soul,  _ _don't you_ _ ?  Listen to your soul."  His voice held authority, speaking in a way that he knew the snake couldn't fight, not that he hadn't tried.  "If your soul is telling you something, listen.  You may not remember, but try!"

His voice called out as the middleweight lead Shirou away, watching the wolf pause and take the pup.

"Remember what I told you you stupid snake!  Keep your hands off my son!"

The click of the door, he wondered if Shirou would actually listen to his words.  Wondered if the male was actually going to listen to that snake than to him.  Ignoring the jaguar and the returner to ancestry that joined in, he cursed before moving towards his desk, digging through the papers, looking for the small slip of paper that had a number written on it.

"What the hell is going on, Yonekuni?"  The rumbled question from the doorway, arms being folded across the chest.  "The- wait, that argument that you were having, is it about what I think it is?  The one you were talking about"

The wolf would never know how much he regretted letting it slip about him, but the worries that weighed on his mind, finally confiding to the jaguar about what he had found out.  "it is.  And the thing is, how is he going to react to finding out how much that friend of his betrayed him in the worst way.  And if i was the one who told him, would he actually believe me?  Or would he accuse me of just being jealous.  You understand, don't you?  I mean," running a hand through his hair, failing to find the paper with the phone number, "forget it. I just regret treating him like he was beneath me.  What can I do to protect him?  To protect both my son and Shirou?"  His question lingered in the air, unanswered by the jaguar and the returner to ancestry.

The one that occupied his thoughts happened to be just as confused as he, rolling the words over and over again in his mind.  How did the heavyweight know that Oushou was acting a little strange?  And while not indecisive, he was more than a little concerned about what he was slowly starting to remember.  The car that they had arrived in turned the corner and pulled up to the curb where they were waiting.  Glancing at Oushou from the corner of his eyes, the blond's words coming back to him.  Shifting Tadakuni, confusion filled.  He knew he should listen to his soul, after all, if he couldn't listen and rely on himself, who could he rely on?  But- was what the blond telling he true?  Oushou had told him the almost exact same thing, though his words were harsher, on the verge of being defamatory.

Stiffening at the feel of a hand on his lower back, placed there to urge and the comfort words that Oushou offered did nothing as his breath picked up.  Only, it wasn't the memories of Mikkel and his torture, but of the familiar touch that haunted his dreams.  I-it couldn't be, could it?  B-but it would answer so many questions that needed to be answered.  Catching the curious look that Oushou sent him, Shirou forced a smile that he didn't feel, painful and shook his head.

No, it couldn't be him.  But his soul whispered something different to what he thought.

 


	3. Chapter 3

'It seemed to never stop,' he thought to himself as he opened the door to Shirou's room, watching the blankets being pulled closer, tensing before the hold on them slackened.  The whispered words of worry went unheard as the male in his bed, illuminated by the light spilling from the hallway, extending his shadow and hiding the small bassinet and the small head.  He didn't need the light to see the head that peaked out from the covers that protected him, a sound that would have resembled a whimper if the wolf pup was just a few weeks older.  Moving from his spot in the doorway, his footsteps soft and light on the carpet, whispering words that he hoped would comfort his sleeping son.  His hand reached out, wanting nothing more than to brush away the hair off Shirou's forehead before stopping himself.  No, he couldn't comfort his son like he used to when he had a nightmare.  Couldn't be the strong father that his son would run to when he was scared.  He could only be strong, giving his son the support that he needed.

Stepping closer to his grandson, almost hesitating before gently picking up the pup from the bassinet, the sounds of the nightmare that Shirou was experiencing seemed to die, almost as if the male knew his son was being taken care of.  Finally falling into a somewhat peaceful sleep.  To the right of Shirou's bed, the untouched bottle of pills, prescription and more, pills that were added by another.  Stepping further and grabbing the orange bottle, easily remembering confronting Shirou about using the drugs.  A mistake of accusing his son and extending his trauma further just for attention, wishing he could take back the words the minute they left his lips.  It wasn't Shirou's fault that he was taken and raped, tortured and now, he accused his own son of using the drugs to get attention.  His heart broke when the words slipped from Shirou's lips, the distant look that his only child wore, as though he was nothing more than a stranger to him.

Though he apologized for his words afterwords and while the teen accepted his apology, he could tell that Shirou was hesitant about trying to repair the damage that he had done with just his words.  But when his pup approached him later, hesitant about speaking to him about the subject, the admitting of using the drug to try to suppress the nightmares and the fact that he knew he shouldn't have been taking them.  The brief mention of a phone call, one that Shirou didn't get into detail before he excused himself, almost stumbling over his feet before reaching out to the wall for balance.  Trying to believe Shirou's words, he stopped at his son's door every night, silently opening the door to check up on Shirou and on his grandson.  Each night, it seemed the dreams and nightmares would take hold, proving to him that Shirou had indeed stopped taking the drugs.

Carefully holding the wolf pup in his arms, feeling the fur that started to come in on his tiny body.  The slight trembling as the child moved closer in his arms, seeking the warmth that his body had yet started to produce.  He couldn't due much to help his son through the trauma,  he could only do what he could to help Shirou sleep.  Glancing one last time at Shirou, he closed the door softly behind him.  Despite the fitful sleep Shirou was experiencing, it was still sleep and the depressed male wanted something to distract him from the pregnancy.  Making his way down the hallway, Soujirou paused in his steps, he and Mischa were still wrapping their minds around the child that Shirou carried.  And the fact that it was Shirou's childhood friend who took such measures with him.

Betraying Shirou's trust, their trust and turning everything- No, he shook his head.  At this moment, there was no point in thinking about such things so late in the night, not when he had the opportunity to watch over his grandson.  Hoping to form a bond with his son's child, he shifted the wolf pup in his arms, slightly dislodging the blankets.

"Let's go, Tadakuni, you can keep me company, we-uh," a look down at the cold nose pressing against his arm, nudging him away from his thoughts.  "Let's go see what we can do to prepare for your brother or sister."

A sound of agreement, a yip that came out as a high whimper of agreement and lightening up his mood.  Smiling to himself, he continued on his way, hoping that everything would turn out the way he had hoped.  That Shirou's heart won't be broken and that their family would remain the same, despite the new addition that would arrive, unwanted as it was.

~

How many times has it happened?  He always asked himself, could only wonder subconsciously as the nightmare seemed to take over, shifting from scene to scene, reliving what he thought he had forgotten.  Rough hands holding him down, the sharp and almost numbing pain as he was taken.  Teeth latching onto any part of his skin while the tip of the knife was pressed against his back, harsh whisper of what was going to happen to him.  Tasting blood on his tongue, grimacing at the dull pain before the dream shifted.

It was the faint chuckle in his ear, the wash of warm air as someone nuzzled against his skin before the feel of lips brushing against his cheek.  Feeling the bed start to dip, memory of the scent of medicine wafting up to his nose while the slid of a hand underneath the blanket and his clothing.  Struggling to open his eyes, he wondered why he was remembering a dream that was only that, a dream.  But still, the nagging thought in the back of his mind, telling him that he shouldn't take it as face value.  That if he remembered all the detail, the scent that only a hospital could create, then there was something that he didn't know.

"Shirou," the ghost like voice in his ear, caressing his ear and urged him to open his eyes, to remember what he was forced to forget, "please don't hate me for this."  A brush of lips against his slackened lips, "I should wait, should respect your wishes and your will.  I know I should, but the thought of losing to Madarame.  Of  _ losing you _ , I can't take that chance."

Take what?  There were so few people that he knew that would touch him like that, that would call him by his given name.  His lips parted by force, a slip of tongue as the one above him sampled his taste, the rumbling sound of pleasure alerting him that, despite being unable to see and fully understand, his taste pleased person.  Teeth that were needle like sharp, could sink in and tear skin apart gently nipped at his lip, leaving an almost numbing feeling while what felt like a forked tongue licked at the slightly wounded skin, as though to soothe the pain.

"Don't wake up," a plea of words as his phantom lover pulled away, shifting before coming back down to him, "please don't wake up."

He struggled to open his eyes, fighting against the weight of his body, gravity and the world that lay upon him.  And while he managed to open his eyes just enough to make out the shadowed figure above him.  Eyes out of focus, only having the ability to concentrate on the feel of hands that slipped further underneath his shirt.  Touches that were gentle despite the calluses that lined long fingers, ringing with familiarity.  Through the haze that clouded his mind, he struggled to place the touch while the sharp spike of pain and pleasure raced through him, joining the drugs that flowed through him.  Whispers of his name, the creak of the bed and the dull throbbing that hinted to more than just what was happening to his body.

It took a lot work to just open his mouth while his eyes fell shut, wanting to ask why.  Wanting to ask why him, after everything he had been through, forced to do something that he didn't wanted.  Why was he always being used?  Before he could ask, the caresses faded from his body as the fog of his mind took over.  The drugs that slowly dripped into his body, wiping away the pain as he slipped away.  Soft grunts of breathing in his ears and the dull feeling in his hips that he never realized.  In his mind, none of this was happening.  Nightmares and echoes of a voice that haunted him would be gone by the time he awoke.

~

Leaning back against the headboard of his bed, struggling to calm himself and the racing of his heart.  Telling himself that this, what he had just woken up from was a nightmare, a dream that his mind had come up with just to torment him while the remnants of the dream lingered.  His soul whispered in his mind, nagging him, telling him to remember  _ who  _ was doing such things to him in his dreams, his nightmares.  It couldn't be  Mikkel, that he knew.  Couldn't be the one  _who_ tormented him.  The safety of the hospital had provided that.  Guards that his parents had hired, rough and almost criminal looking.  No, a shake of his head, it wasn't that crazed wolf.

A low throb of his body, biting softly at his bottom lip as his body reminded him of the dream, of what he failed to accomplish.  Shame filled him as his hand hesitated just above the waistband of pants, almost fighting with himself before his hand slipped inside.  Trying to turn his mind from what he was doing and the dream, focusing on someone else.  Curling his fingers around himself, a memory that was starting to become more vivid as he imagined someone else.  That it  _ _wasn't_ _ _ _ the fault of the dreams that caused his body to react, that the returning memories, hidden and blocked by the drugs he had been taken, was the cause of his body throbbing.  Echoes of his name as he lost himself, momentarily forgetting everything.

Licking his dry lips, tracing the bite marks that he left on his lower lip while his free hand lifted his shirt and brushed up against the small rise of his stomach.  Flinching and shaking his head, ignoring both the awkward position he lay in and the reminder what was happening to his body.  Ignoring the proof that the nightmares that had been plaguing him was real.  Losing himself in what pleasure he could get, it was the slowly returning memories that didn't match up to the figure in his dreams.  A face that was clouded by darkness, as though his mind didn't want to face what he already knew.

Slowly stroking himself, his hand froze in mid-stroke as Yonekuni's words came back to him and the feel of Oushou's hand on his neck.  The reaction and overwhelming urge to get away.  An echo of something familiar, a struggle and mocking words blending in with what his phantom lover spoke to him.  Pulling his hand back, a whisper of his first time, the feel of fingers curling around him, bringing him the pleasure and so much more than he he could have brought upon himself.  H-how was it that he could start to remember his first time with Oushou but couldn't get past that shadowed face in his dream?  Replaying the same dream over and over again, varying in differences and positions.  Hips being held down, being gently prodded open, as though his "lover" was being careful not to rip him open.  Not to bring him the pain that he had the unfortunate chance of experiencing.

The excitement that his body had been, the throbbing that had him imagining the blond and remembering when he laid with Oushou started to fade, leaving him feeling more than a little embarrassed.  Wiping his hand on the sheet below, the sound of his stomach rumbling and pulling him from his thoughts, reminding him that he had once again skipped another meal.  Not that he cared, to be honest. A lie he told himself.  He did care, but a child he didn't wanted, forced upon him, fathered by someone he couldn't name.  He wasn't a fool that others thought him to be, could hear the whispers hidden by good intentions and while it wasn't fully true, it wasn't far from false either.

Glancing at the clock once more then to the bassinet that lay situated just enough from the bed to be able to fully hear and listen for his son.  The silence that reigned, guilt building up when he realized that either his mother or father had come in and checked up on Tadakuni.  He couldn't even raise his son, hadn't even heard the child stir or cry.  What kind of parent was he if he couldn't even notice when his son awoke and needed him?  Shaking his head, biting down hard on his lower lip and onto the very faint mark left behind from weeks ago.  Deep down he knew he should be grateful for the help from his parents, shouldn't beat himself up but nothing he did changed the fact that everyone around him seemed to treat him as if he was made of glass.  To have blame "placed" on his shoulder, that if he hadn't fought off Mikkel, if he only had the inner strength to get through all of this, he wouldn't  have this burden like it was all his fault.

Pushing himself to his feet, slowly leaving his bed behind and hopefully the dreams that haunt him.  Grabbing his glasses that rested on the nightstand, glancing around the room as much as he could with the darkness that took over.  So early in the morning, wanting to believe that everything that happened and all his problems could be left behind.  That they'd disappear from his life and his memory, leaving him with just the fading memory of a nightmare and nothing more.  Swallowing past the lump in his throat, his body turning and reaching for the bottle of pills that lay abandoned in the bottle.  Fingertips grasping at the cap before he paused, freezing he started to turn and open the bottle.  Just one would wash away everything that was coming back to him.  Just one would wash away the nightmares and guilt, to make him forget those terrible few days and what came afterward.

It took the sound of the pills rattling inside the bottle to realize his hand, no, his body was trembling before he dropped the bottle.  He didn't hear the clacking of plastic as it fell and rolled off the nightstand.  His mother's words, his tutor's voice when she confided in him.  His father's voice, worry and the confidence that laced them, telling him  _ not  _ to let the fear inside him win.  Not to let the fear take control of his life and rule the way he lived.  He wasn't the only one in this city and country who was taken by force.  He knew he wasn't the only one in this world that was treated in the way that he was treated.  No, he wasn't alone.

"No," he whispered to himself, bending down for the bottle that had fallen off the nightstand and tossing the bottle into the trash, "I'm not that weak."  His voice rose as he spoke, struggling confidence rose, gaining strength.  "I won't give in.  I-I'm taking back my life.  Even-even if it's different than the way I had originally pictured it."  The self pep talk he gave himself rose his hope, glancing down at his hands and then to his stomach, the child that lay inside him.  Unwanted and unwelcome, he could only hope that he could grow to "love" Mikkel's child.  A dry, humorless chuckle escape his lips, feeling as though his life was nothing more than a drama show that others were watching for their amusement.  Slowly making his way towards his bathroom, closing the door quietly behind him.  Avoiding looking at the mirror, quietly pulling off his clothes.

For the first time in his life, Shirou wished he had some one to lean back against.  Someone to support him and just hold him when he needed it.  To feel strong arms wrapping around him and hold him tight, to tell him that everything would  be alright.  And at the moment, he had a choice between two men, each one courting him for their own special reason.  The father of his child, gentle touches that belied the harsh words that he was starting to remember.  The blond attempting to prove to him, to show that  _ he  _ should be chosen.  And Oushou, his sweetest friend, one that supported him.  But lately, it seemed that his friend was holding something back.  Hiding something that  _ he  _ should know.

Under the warm, edging towards hot flow of water, Shirou closed his eyes and attempted to relax, moving his body before the twinge of protest from his muscles caused him to snap his eyes open and hiss through clenched teeth.  Muscles along his back were still healing, scars a bright pink that left a message to anyone who would read.  A rather large reminder that will forever stay with him, scaring others that would attempt to get closer, if that were to ever happen.  Wiping the water that dripped into his eyes away, he kept his thoughts away from what happened to him.  The lather of soap in his hands, washing away the sweat

 


	4. Chapter 4

****Title**** : Hidden from view pt 4 of 6  
****Rating**** : R (Rating will change from part to part)  
****Characters/Pairings**** : Yonekuni/Shirou, Oushou/Shirou with a sprinkling of Kunimasa/Norio and babies!  
****Series**** : Sex Pistols  
****Part of**** : Alt Universe; Continuation to Intertwining of a hurricane 1-6, several side stories named after "Hidden from view"; Fourth part to Hidden from view 12 3  
****Beta**** : None, all mistakes are my own  
****Warning**** : Flashbacks of rape, drug use (briefly mentioned), manipulation and torture.  
****Notes**** : Struggling to get over the pain and the scars that haunt him, Shirou’s courted by two males with two different reasons.  Surprises await for him, breaking up of a relationship and a friendship, bringing others closer.  Can he get over their actions and the betrayal when he finds out what has happened to him?  And will he chose the right one that will treat him right?   This is the continuation of "Intertwining of a hurricane" and if you don't read that before reading this,  _you will be confused_.  I apologize https://madararui.wordpress.com/wp-admin/for the extremely long delay, I'm suffering through giant hurdle know as writers block and lack of motivation. 

He could only watch from where he stood, underneath the overcast sky and ignoring the rumble of thunder as Shirou left him behind, slamming the door behind him and stirring the guild inside him. The words and the accusations, all true to what the wolf had said. How could he have been so stupid in believing that he could get away with it? Get away with violating Shirou? Breaking years of friendship, forged since they were young, thrown away for a brief chance, a slim hope that he could replace the heavyweight's nightmares with memories. Standing the spot where Shirou left him, he knew that he was drawing attention from those that were passing by. Almost pitying glances and the shake of heads as they whispered among themselves. For a moment, he could have sworn that someone attempted to step closer, pausing before changing their mind and continuing on.

Through the confrontation of words, he had focused on what the wolf had said, learning from his own mother, one that couldn't keep her mouth shut, that the child he carried wasn't from the one who tormented him but from his friend. His best friend and now a former friend, everything that grew between them was now gone. Hands curling at his sides, clenching tightly into fists before he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and forcing himself to move. He didn't care that the sky had started to open up, starting with a light sprinkle that turned into a slow and steady downpour. The steps that he knew, from the time he was young to now lead him to his home and the line that his mother had hoped to strengthen and continue.

It was easy to remember the look of elation and happiness that crossed her face when he finally told her, though it was a lie that had slipped from his lips. A lie that had slipped free in the hopes that his mother would keep the news to herself, telling her just that Shirou was carrying his child and nothing more. It really wasn't her business as to how the male had gotten pregnant. At the time and still, he silently begged that the male would forgive him.

Under the steady downpour, in desperation he pulled out his phone and dialed the number that he knew by heart.  For everything he felt, his hopes rising with every ring, only to fall when he reached the voice mail. Disappointment at at him, joining the guilt as he slowly made his way home, dodging those who were rushing about to escape the rain that continued to fall.  He should have known that his lies would catch up with him, shouldn't have given everything into keeping Shirou from figuring out what had happened, of what he had done to his best friend.  To the one he loved.  Keeping head down and eyes downcast, Oushou looked up when he reached his home.  The gates that held his family name, letting himself through before he caught the darkened windows and the moment of relief that filled him.  He didn't relish the fact that he would have to face his mother's wrath when she would confront him.  Never even thinking that she wouldn't, his mother would be a force when she found out that he lied.

The few steps that lead to the front door and while he wasn't surprised to find the door unlocked, he couldn't hide the shock when his brother stood just on the other side of the door, blocking his path.  It wouldn't have been a problem, when growing up, his brother had a habit of doing such things.  But the aura that the snake was giving off was nothing like what he was used, something only used against those that had wronged the half heavyweight type.

"Oushou-  I can't believe I have to ask you this, but I do, I really have to."  In the silence of the house, the heavy sigh that his brother released was enough to tell him more what he cared to know.  The look in his brother's eyes, stepping back in defense before the snake could speak, closing the door accidently.  "Have you've been in contact with  _ anyone _  at the hospital that I work at? Anyone?  Because for some reason, a reason that I just found out today, that  _ I'm  _ under suspicion for some drug theft."

Finding his mouth suddenly dry, Oushou looked away and didn't see his brother move, feeling strong fingers grip his chin and jerk his attention forward.  "I'm asking you this and you're looking away from me?  Do you have  _ _**any** _ _ _ _ idea what kind of trouble you've caused for me and my family?  Everyone is thinking that I took an drug that they're working on.  A drug that I had no clue about until today.  What kind of mess did you pull me and my family in?"  The pressure against his skin, pinching between fingers that started to become cold as his brother's soul started to take over.  Fear that he didn't want to admit, that he didn't want to show forced him to swallow what he was feeling and attempt to jerk his head out of his brother's grasp.  Trying to put as much distance between him and his brother, Oushou cursed his luck when his back hit the closed door behind him.

"I-  I didn't think I would get into trouble.  I didn't think that you'd get the blame placed on you.  You know, of course, that I want to work in pharmaceuticals and got to know one of the workers there.  He- he just happened to mention a drug that they're working on-"  Cursing his luck, nothing seemed to be going right today.  "I didn't think anything would happen.  He," a nod towards his brother, acknowledging the one he had taken advantage of, "when he mentioned how the drug worked, I couldn't help letting it pass.  Look, I'll tell them that its my fault-"

"Do you think its that easy?  Its not just the fact that majority of the drug samples that they were working on, getting ready to test it, is missing, its-  Wait, what do you mean "How it worked?"  What does that drug do, Oushou?"  The hiss in the older male's voice, cold and venomous, just as his soul was.  He scratched the back of his neck, no matter what he said or how he said it, it wouldn't come out sounding right.  Opening his mouth, pausing then forced out the words that would become his undoing.

"I was told that the drugs block certain parts of a person's memory.  That was the original design of the drug, to block traumatic memories until the user was ready to face them.  But the dosage was stronger and- and I couldn't let him go through that-"

"Oushou, who are you talking about?"  The hostility in Hiromasa's voice dropped as he watched the range of emotions flicker across his younger brother's face.  He was still angry, upset that because of some little whim of Oushou's, his family was being dragged into problems that he had nothing to do with.  "Who would you do this to-"  His eyes widened as he caught the look of shame that crossed his brother's face, dark eyes looking away and he could only remember what his brother went through when he came back.  "Don't tell me its Fujiwara?"  The sound that rose in Oushou's throat and the nearly heartbroken look that he wore.  "Oh, Oushou," he licked his lips, ready to offer both a set of scolding words and words of comfort before the knocking of the door started the both of them.  Catching the darting of eyes before his brother pushed away from the door, nearly pushing him out of the way as he escaped.

He wanted to go after his brother, to demand and ask why he did what he did, but the familiar mop of blond hair and the worried look that normally didn't enter his partner's eyes stopped him.  Shooting a look over his shoulder at his retreating brother, Hiromasa was sure that Oushou caught the look he sent him before turning back towards Shima.

Glancing over his shoulder as he climbed the stairs, Oushou caught the look of distrust and worry on his brother's face before he hurried up the stairs.  It didn't matter to him that his brother's opinion of him has lowered, he thought to himself as the muted, dulcet tones of his brother and his brother's partner.  Closing the door, he sighed to himself.  He would have thought the whole thing one floor below him was nothing more than an act put on on by his brother and Shima.  A thread of jealousy started to grow, twisting and thickening and tightening.  Why did he have to screw up so badly?  Why did he give in to the other side of himself and use means that no one would use?  He had Shirou on the verge of choosing him, so close in getting what he had been wanting for so long and he had to go and screw it up.

Everything that he had worked so hard for would have been perfect, everything that he had hoped would be his if his mother hadn't butted in and told Shirou that the child he was carrying was his.  Adding to the fact that Shirou now knew what he did to him.  The breaking of trust and friendship, everything that had been building up, all gone for a stupid chance.  "After so long, why did he have to find out?"  Oushou asked himself, leaning back against the bedroom door, feeling his world start to crumble and crash around him.  "How did he find out?"

It never occurred to him that  _ _this_ _ _ _ was how Shirou felt, to find out everything he thought about himself was a lie.  Feeling his body start to slide down the door, struggling to figure out how his brother found out.  A part of himself wondered and feared, hoping that the police wouldn't get involved.  While another part of himself blamed his mother.   _ _**Everything** _ _ _ _ was going smoothly for him.  Sure, the blond heavyweight was a nuisance, nothing but a thorn in his side since that first time Shirou met Madarame.  Would the one he loved be taken away from him?  Would his child be raised by another?  Told that he or she was the product of rape and was now unwanted?

On the verge of getting what he wanted, of having the one he loved and a child taken away, he clenched his teeth tightly curled his hands into fists.  No.   _ _**NO!** _ _ _ _ He wouldn't lose!  Even if he had to swallow his pride and admit that he screwed up, he wasn't about to let that  _ _**fucking** _ _ _ _ reptile take away what he had worked so hard for.

Pushing himself to his feet, moving away from the door, pausing and turning back to lock the door.  Another confrontation with his brother was the last thing he wanted.  Stepping back away from the door, the sound of the doorknob turning and jiggling, the near pounding of a fist against his door.

"This isn't over, Oushou!  You've gotten into trouble and you're dragging me and my family into this mess!  You better explain yourself!"

Covering his ears with his hands, attempting to block out his brother's words.  Arguing with himself, cursing the fact that everything around him was crumbling and falling, exposing the lies and the deceit that he put Shirou through.  He couldn't recall how long he had been blocking his ears, nearly falling to the floor as he approached his bed.  Why did his mother have to interfere?  Everything was going perfectly or nearly perfectly.

Climbing into bed, turning his back to the door, Oushou ignored the sounds of footsteps and arguing before continuing down the hall, leaving him nearly shaking in his bed.  Swallowing the lump in his throat, he could taste the fear that had started to rise in his chest, something that he never actually felt before.  Clenching his eyes tightly, he slipped into sleep and into the dreams, haunting him and telling him what he lost, despite trying his best to ignore the guilt that transformed his dreams.  It never occurred to him that what he was experiencing was nothing compared to what Shirou went through.

A night of restless sleep, nightmares keeping him from slipping into a deep sleep.  Dreaming of everything that had happened, dreaming of things that have yet to come and that of a single creature above all else.  It was the sound of fists pounding on the door that woke him up, his mother's voice that called for him.  His eyes snapping open as he awoke, his temples throbbing in a headache that seemed to have lasted all night.  Emotions that had started to finally die down when he slept raged to the surface again.  What was the point of getting up anyway?  Rubbing at his eyes and about to turn onto his side in the hopes of sleeping his problems away, it was the authoritative tone and the order that his mother snapped at him through the door.

"Oushou?  Get up right now!"  The near bellow of the words and the rattling of the doorknob as his mother tried to open the door.  "You can't sleep all day!  We need to talk and get the information right about what  _ you've  _ done."

As though her words were final, it was the silence left in the snake's wake that told him, forced him to move.  Why couldn't he be more like his brother?  To be able to stand up against his mother's weight and her want?  To be able to walk the path that he wanted, as fucked up as it was, not that he wanted to fully explore about what he messed up on.  He wanted nothing more than all of this to be a nightmare, something he could wake up from and find out that Shirou knew nothing of his betrayal.  That the child Shirou carried would be the same species as the canine.

Nothing but fruitful wishes, none that would come true.  Worrying his bottom lip, Oushou pushed himself to his feet, shrugging out of the clothes from yesterday and made his way to the private bathroom that connected to his room.  Glancing at the mirror that hung above the sink before quickly looking away.  The guilt hadn't left, leaving him feeling and looking hallow.  Anyone, someone off the street, could look at him and notice that something wasn't right.  And they wouldn't have a clue to how right they were.  They could speculate and whisper behind their hands while curious eyes would try to take in all they could.

Under the flow of hot water, scalding his skin while he thought to the near desperate call he had made in the middle of the night.  A dream, brief and frightening, had him racing to his phone once he had woke.  Shaky fingers had dialed the number he had memorized years ago.  With his heart pounding in his ears, under the cover of darkness, Oushou had hoped to hear the line ring, to hear Shirou's voice, husky and thick from sleep just so he could calm his fear.  But the line didn't ring, only the loud beep, almost an error.  He had looked at the glowing of his screen and saw the brief message, stating that his number had been blocked, preventing him from contacting his lover.  His friend.

___

  
In the thickening silence, he knelt on the tatami covered floor of his mother's personal office, watching the snake lift the small ceramic cup to her lips, a barely audible sip of steaming tea before the soft clank as she set it back down.  To the right of his mother knelt Hiromasa, a look of resentment on his face.  He started to wonder why his brother was there, glaring at him under hooded eyes.  The slit of pupils that held a promise of continuing what he'd been asking the night before.  Calling himself a fool for forgetting about what was waiting for him when had gotten home.

"Your brother tells me that you've been up to a lot, Oushou," the upturn lips as she held a small, curious smile, "you're not soiling the Aogiri name and household, are you?  Because we certainly don't want that, do we?  No," she answered her own question before he could, "he didn't tell me exactly what you've done, but at the moment, it doesn't matter."

The jerk of Hiromasa's head went unnoticed by his mother, seeing the widening of his brother's eyes.

"Right now, I want you to explain something to me.  Yesterday, I ran into your friend, Fujiwara.  It's been so long since you've brought him home, but I digress.  I brought up the subject of his pregnancy and really, I don't remember him ever being so rude."  The ball of tension grew in his stomach, clenching his fingers tightly in his lap.

"Why would he be surprised about me knowing?  After all, you told me that he was carrying your child, all the color just drained from his face when I told him what you told me.  Such a strange reaction."  The almost offhanded comment, catching the look of disgust that crossed Hiromasa's face, knowing that his older brother was putting the pieces together.  "Anyway, he was out with  _ _**another male** _ _ _ _ when he should be with you.  Despite his breeding and higher social class, he shouldn't be consorting with anyone else like a common whore.  He should be with  _ you _ , after all, he's carrying your child.  A marriage isn't far from the picture-"

"He didn't know the child was-is mine!"  The words escaped from his before he could stop them.  "Y-you don't know the s- the whole story."  His tongue felt thick and foreign in his mouth, almost stopping him from telling his mother about what really had happened.  Of course she knew that Shirou had been kidnapped, whisked away to a distant land.  His brother knew too, but other than that, that was all that he told him about what had actually happened.  He couldn't tell them Shirou's dark secret, couldn't tell them of the torture that a madman put him through.  It wasn't his secret to tell.

"He- Shirou was lead to believe that the child he carried was that of his rapist's.  No one told him-"

_ " _ _ _**OUSHOU!** _ _ _ "   _ The whip like snap of hi name, flinching under the flare of his brother's soul.  "You-you took advantage of him?!  With that drug that went missing from the hospital!!""  it wasn't his words that caused their usually unemotional mother to nearly spill her tea, burning herself with the scalding liquid.

"W-What's this?  Theft?  Stealing and dealing drugs?"

A shake of a head.

"No, it wasn't  _ _him_ _ _ ,  _ but  _ _**they** _ _ _ _ handed him the drugs.  Oushou wasn't dealing drugs, but drugging someone unintentionally.  Isn't that right, Oushou?"  He froze for a moment, licking his dry lips before giving a short nod.  Opening his mouth before hesitating and closing his mouth.  He didn't want to dig himself deeper, but that didn't stop his brother as the half heavyweight type from digging it deeper for him.

"Because a lawsuit is being filed against the hospital and I'm sure that you," a dark look towards him, "know who's behind it.  And this-" a narrow of eyes at him before Hiromasa pushed himself to his feet, "is your only chance to come clean.  While you're not named in the lawsuit against the hospital, you'll come up when the tech names you.  H-how can you do this, Oushou?  You're smearing the Aogiri name, going to bring negative light to our family.   _ _**My** _ _ _ _ family.  Not to mention what you've done to  _ _**him** _ _ .  Oushou, I thought you had more pride in yourself instead of resorting to deception and betrayal."

Feeling as though he was nothing but a child being scolded, never had he thought about the repercussions like this.  Sure, he had briefly entertained the idea of Shirou finding out and forgiving him.  But this-  He didn't think that the wrath of Shirou's parents would reach this far.

"Well," the heavy sigh as his mother glanced from him to the empty cup of tea and the burn mark from the scalding liquid, "the only way to smooth is over is to talk to his parents and try to come up with a reasonable explanation and solution.  Oushou, get your things together, we'll need to go out and tell  _ _**his** _ _ _ _ parents that this, everything you've done was just good intentions.  And when they accept your apology, and I'm sure that they will, we'll try to secure his hand and bring our two families into one."

At the look that crossed his face, his mother held up a finger, the calculating look in her eyes matched the snake that she was.

"Marriage.  Unlike your brother's marriage, I don't object a marriage of you and to Fujiwara's family.  After, what's better than marrying into a powerful family?"

Her question hung in the air, leaving him unsure how to break the news to his mother what Shirou's family will think of her idea and how to bridge the betrayal that broke everything apart.

____

Wanting nothing more than to pull the collar of his shirt up to help relieve the agitation and the anxiety that he was feeling under the dark looks the two heavyweight wolves were giving him and his mother.  When his mother knocked on the door, loudly announcing their arrival, he hadn't been able to hide his shock at the when the pale haired woman pressed her lips and inclined her head just enough to give them an answer to his mother's question.  With their drinks being served, his mother silently sipping at the tea as though she hadn't noticed the tension rising as the minutes ticked by.

If anything, his mother seemed to thrive on the hostile atmosphere, enjoying the discomfort that she caused.  Feeling an intense gaze on him, Oushou looked up in the hopes of seeing Shirou staring at him.  The hopes crashed when he noticed that Shirou's father was staring at him with barely hidden disgust.

"He's not here," the cold and collected words from Shirou's father.  After years of knowing and having visited the home so many times over the years, it was the lack of friendliness and the barely hidden hate on the older male's face that had him swallowing the question to where Shirou was.  Not that it was any of his business anymore.

"I'm not sure that he'd even want to see you, Aogiri-san."  The cold words as the pale haired woman dismissed him, looking down on him as though he was beneath her.  Oushou curled his fingers into a fist as he looked down into his lap.  Deep down, somewhere he had hoped that he would get away with this.  That Shirou's parents would take his plea as serious and give Shirou to him.  But nothing he did turned out the way he wanted.  He knew that Shirou's parents had a vague idea of what he had done, that damned heavyweight knew.  But even though he knew, he hadn't given it any though of how the two older wolves would react to his treatment of their son.

When he'd sneak in to see Shirou, it was only because he didn't want to see the accusation in their eyes, knowing that it would only cause guilt to rise more.  The familiar hand of his mother's on his shoulder, pulling him from his rambling thoughts, away from all the self pity that he was subjecting himself to.

"I'm sure that you're wondering why I'm here, why Oushou's here-"

"I did wonder why he's showing his face here."  The hint of a smile on Mischa's lips, though her voice sounded calm, anyone could pick up on the storm that was brewing just below the surface.  "He should know by now that he's really not welcome here.  After all, after what he's done to Shirou, he should have ran away with his tail tucked between his legs."  The humorless chuckle that the wolf before him uttered, the stiffening of his mother's body and for a brief moment, envied Shirou's mother to be able to stand up against his mother.

"But if anything, I'm actually surprised bu you, Aogiri-san.  Why you would be here when, after years of knowing us and our family, that you've barely graced us with your presence, would show up today?  Even the invitations that we've offered, you've never took it us up on it."  Catching the flinch as the words struck his mother.  The angry flush that crossed her cheeks and the near snort like sounded far from the snake that she was.  A deep breath was taken as his mother calmed herself before she offered the two a smile that one would think true and full of sincerity.

"Don't think that by trying to trick us into believing that you've just "happened" to come by, with your son on top of it."  A slam of the cup that Mischa had placed on the small table between them.  "You've prided yourself in being from a powerful family.  In that your name and family holds a lot of clout here.  Just tell me what you want."

An expression of frustration before his mother spoke.  "I met up with your son yesterday and I'm guessing that your son wasn't aware that my son, Oushou, is the father of his child.  First of all, what the hell is going on?  Your son didn't know he's carrying Oushou's child, an investigation and a lawsuit against the hospital where my older son works-"

"Why would you feel the need to talk to Shirou about the child he carries?"  The startled cry from Shirou's mother and he wondered why his mother would butt in on his private life.  "You honestly have no clue, do you?"  The long haired woman asked as she pushed herself to her feet, staring down at them before pacing.

"You honestly don't know the trouble-"

"While I was not informed to what happened, I was aware that my son was with your son over seas.  What does that have to do with why your son didn't know that he's carrying my grandchild."

Questions volleying back and forth, tension building to a point before pale eyes landed on him.

"Why did you do it?  Why did you betray Shirou's trust when he needed you the most?"

It would be a lie if he said he hadn't anticipated the question, but that didn't mean he wanted to answer.

"Why are you asking such questions to Oushou?!  He did  _ _**nothing** _ _ _ _ wrong here!"  Words hissed as his mother's soul stirred and flared to life.  The horror of what had happened and what he had down was soon to come to life.  Though he told his mother that his best friend and lover was pregnant with his child, he hadn't divulged in the horror of what Shirou went through.

"He did everything wrong?  He  _ _**raped my son** _ _ !  He raped him while knowing that Shirou couldn't fight back!"  The snap of words and the flare of a soul, leaving the normally strong woman his mother was near cowering before Shirou's mother.  "Your son didn't tell you, he was over seas, yes, but trying to help find my son!  Do you honestly know how it feels to know that  _ _you're_ _ _ _ the reason why he was kidnapped?  That its  _ _your_ _ _ _ fault that he was tortured and raped by his so called "fiance"?"

** The dull thud Shirou's mother sat down in the seat that she had vacated. **

"So?"

The single, cruel word that fell from the snake's lips, "What does that have anything to do with this?  Just because this happened to your son really shouldn't matter.  This is a winner take all and the strongest gets the bitch, which happens to be your son-"

" ** _**STOP** _ ** !"  His shout cut off his mother's cruel words, causing her to stare at him.  "Just stop!  Why are you being so cruel? Everything,  _ _**everything** _ _ _ _ she's said is true."  He begged, biting down on his lower lip.  "You didn't see what that monster did to him, mother.  He was broken.  I couldn't-  I had to do something!  A good memory that would be able to wash away the trauma that he went through.  I- I didn't know that a womb worm was planted inside of him!"  And because of all this, he lost his best friend.

"I didn't think that he'd get pregnant, s-so I thought about the drug, the prescription one he was given a-and found someone who was working on a stronger version of it-"

No one heard the soft footsteps into the room, only the sharp intake of a breath.

"You've been giving the pills to me?"  Shirou asked through numb lips as he gazed at his former best friend.  "W-why would you do something like this?  So I wouldn't remember?  That-that it was you in the hospital room?  Why did- no," he shook his head, he wouldn't finish the question, unsure if the male would speak the truth or if he would lie through his teeth.

When he left hours before, a small note he had written down before taking his son out.  Carrying Tadakuni as close as he could, he had found himself standing in front of the blond heavyweight's front door.  As upset as he was with Yonekuni, he couldn't blame him for not fully speaking up.  The threat of his son being taken away, of his small family being taken away for good.  Though he couldn't blame him, that didn't mean he wasn't in the right either.  If Oushou's mother hadn't spoken to him the day before, he would have thought that the blond's words were nothing more than another dig to gain points while trying to court him.

But when he stepped inside the small apartment, feeling Yonekuni's arm come around him and Tadakuni, Shirou couldn't help the tears that slipped free, his shoulders shaking as he held back the silent sobs he refused to show.

Everything he thought about the past few weeks and months was nothing but a lie.  Everything that Oushou had told him, a pretty farce that he had bought.  Memories of the hospital, the blurry and shadowed face that slowly started to come into focus.  When it felt as though hours had passed, pulling away from the comfort of Yonekuni's arms with a muttered apology.  Catching the brief flash int he blond's blue eyes before the reptile kissed his cheek, nuzzling against the side of his neck before taking their son into his arms.

"Don't let this break you.  He's tried to fool everyone.  All you can do is be above him.  No matter how much he tries to apologize,  _don't_ fall for it."  The comforting hand on the nape of his neck while warm breath tickled his ear before the gentle urging away from the living room and into the bedroom he had once and only once had the chance to visit.

"Sleep," the soft command, Yonekuni's voice ringing with authority, "I'm sure you didn't sleep yesterday, did you?  Give me a chance to be with my- our son while you rest, okay?"

Though the blond seemed unconcerned, he wasn't able to hide the uncertainty that crossed his face, almost worried that his offer and everything that he worked hard for would be rejected.  He was exhausted, his mind making up for what it was trying to remember.  A small smile crossed his lips before he nodded and as the door closed behind the blond, he crawled onto the bed and under the cover of blankets.  A thick scent rising from where he lay, assaulting his senses and calming him, as though the blond himself was curled around him.

Now, staring down at the shamed middleweight snake, anger stirred his soul.  Restless and aching for answers as to why.

"You drugged me?  You- I thought I was out of the medication.  I- I even confided in you, tell you I thought I was out and y-you told me not to worry about it!  Do you- any of you understand what it feels like not to remember certain things?  To feel as though you're losing your mind?"  His voice rose in volume, anger filling and finally letting loose.  Catching the widening of Oushou's eyes, the biting of a lower lip and for a moment, he felt the twinge of guilt fill him, as though the middleweight was trying to tell him to stop.  A method that the snake had a habit of doing when he was younger.  Firming his resolve, giving into the outrage and the anger, he couldn't forgive Oushou for this.  Couldn't forgive the betrayal the snake put him through.

"Don't you  _ dare _  try to play the victim here,"  he whispered when the shorter male opened his mouth to defend himself, "you didn't have to drug me.  You didn't have to resort to raping me in the hospital.  Or even later... See?  I can't fully remember what you've done to me.  Didn't you know that all I needed was not a partner nor a rapist.  All I needed was a friend.  Someone to tell me that everything would be fine, if not a little difficult.  But instead of being there, yo-"

His voice cracked, leaning back against the wall and nearly sank to his heels.  "Instead of just dealing with the trauma of being raped and tortured, I'm forced to deal with this.  With  _ _all of this_ _ .  And to top it off, y-you lead me to believe that the child I carried belonged to him- to Mikkel."  His voice fell silent, letting what he spoke sink in before a sob like chuck rose in his chest.

"So not only you knew, but my own parents hid this from me.  I-I feel like such a fool for falling- for believing  _ _**everything** _ _ _ _ that you all told me."

"You- Shirou, you don't know how hard it was to keep this from you," the near hesitant words as his father looked over at him.  "The fear of you breaking.  Yes, you're strong and despite knowing this, the thought of you finding out your best friend was the one to betray the trust you placed in him was what kept us from telling you.  Why do you think we forbidden him from visiting you here?  We knew this, but it wasn't until just recently that we've learned who was drugging you."  The worry and weariness in his father's voice spoke volumes, but despite that, he couldn't shake off the fact that his parents held back the knowledge.

"How could you not tell me?  Leading me on to believe that I'm carrying Mikkel's child?  I know that you didn't want me to fall apart- did it ever occur to you- any of you, that I'm not made of glass?  That despite everything that has happened, I'm trying my hardest to get over it.  I just needed someone, anyone to support me-"

"Well, not that we got that out of the way, let's get down to what I've come here for."  The sharp clap of hands and the announcement that the snake made, as though everything that had been spoken was a waste of her time.

Snapping his mouth shut, Shirou looked at the woman who broke the news to him.  A small part of himself, a ** ** _ very  _ _small_ part of himself was grateful that the woman told him what he didn't know.  But a bigger part couldn't help despising the woman for her cruel words alone.

"You're very cruel, aren't you?"  The murmured words from his quiet mother as she glanced from him to the snake.  "Are you so vain that you don't even bat an eye at what happened to my son?  And what  _ _**your** _ _ _ _ son has done to Shirou?"

"Well," a huff of frustration, as though the dark haired woman was irritated that she had to explain herself, "it's a tragedy, yes, but what he went through, thousands have been through before.  He's not the only one and he won't be the last.  You  _ _**must** _ _  know how things go, right?  It's the survival of the fittest and the strongest gets the female.  That's the way its been since the dawn of time and will continue.  I'm sorry that it happened to your son, but that's the law of the land-"  Her words were abruptly halted as she noticed the disgusted looks leveled at her.

"There is a difference between what you call "the law of the land" and absolute brutality."  Shirou uttered as he pushed himself to his feet and stepped forward, his hands reaching up to the buttons of his shirt and began slipping each on free.  Aware that he was putting on such a show, showing what he had hidden from from everyone.  "Only animals are reduced to that law, but despite  _ what _  we are, we- everyone has the choice, has the mind and the knowledge to kidnap and torture their fellow human being.  An  _ animal _  doesn't care possessive words into their prey's back."

As he spoke, hissing through nearly clenched teeth as his tight muscles protested, he pulled  his shirt free from his pants and dropped the clothing to the floor, standing half naked in front of his parents, Oushou and the near stranger that was Oushou's mother.  Stepping further to stand in the middle of the room, presenting himself to be ogled and whispered about.

"Take a good look," he ordered the two, though his words were for Oushou's mother, "see what  _ you  _ consider as perfectly alright."

Shirou turned around, showing the mother and son what Mikkel had done to him.  "An animal wouldn't carve and take pleasure in seeing his victim struggle below him.  An animal would have known when he or she has lost.  No, a  _ _**monster** _ _ _ _ would do this.  A monster would be perfectly alright seeing his victim tied up, raping him until he's pregnant with his child.  Doing all this just to see his bloodline continued."  Licking his dry lips, though it didn't help that his mouth was dry.  "So according to your logic, everything that has happened to me, what Oushou, your son, has done to me, it's perfectly alright?"

The hesitant sidelong glance that the older woman gave her son, shame crossing her face and the forced apology.  "I'm sorry that it happened to you.  I didn't mean to say that you deserved such treatment.  I was just trying to say that it happens to others, that what you've experienced wasn't any different that others who were forced into such a position, just like I'm sure that others were forced to do-"  The woman's voice faltered when she realized her words weren't drawing the hope and the reactions she wanted, that her apology sounded forced and hollow.

"A-anyway, the reason I'm here is to correct and hopefully bring everything to the correct terms."  She cleared her throat and threw him a cool look, silently ordering him to cover himself up.  To cover up his shame.

Turning his gaze away from the woman to her son, the wide eyes and pale completely that the middleweight snake work.  "What?  You never noticed or knew what Mikkel did to me?"  He asked, the question whispered in a hiss, bending over to grab the shirt he had dropped.

"I-"  A thick swallow before the male tried again.  "I knew- had a vague idea of what he's done to you.  I-I just never knew the extensive damage of what he's done.  I was told that you had to- your back had to be pretty much sewn back together.  I wish I could take back what happened to you.  I wish," his hands slowly buttoned up his shirt as Oushou paused his words, glancing at him before diverting his gaze away.  Despite what the snake's mother "tried" to convey, it was easy to see and hear that the male, that the trust they had was broken beyond repair, was sincere.  "I wish I could take back what I've done to you.  All I wanted to do was replace the harsh and unbearable memory of what that monster did to you.  I just wanted to help you."  The truth filled words, spoken softly to him.

"If- if you had just told me that from the beginning, if you hadn't drugged me and- I-I just can't believe you were doing that to me.  I honestly thought because I couldn't remember, not only the traumatic rape, but the days and weeks before that.  memories that were gone.  Do you, Oushou, honestly know what it feels like when you know something, but no matter how hard you try, you can't recall it?  A-and all the emotional manipulation, I honestly can't tell when you're lying and when you're telling the truth.  In fact, today is the only time that I can remember when it looked like you're telling me the truth."

Aware that he had the attention of both his parents and Oushou's mother, Shirou pressed his lips in a tight line before giving them a nod, silently telling her to continue.

"I wasn't aware that my son had- ah, been doing business with a hospital and slipping the drugs into your son's pill bottle, though one has to wonder how he didn't notice," Curling his fists at the snide remark, once again shifting the blame onto his shoulders.

"I've got a proposition for you.  If my son was to marry yours, joining our two families into a stronger bond and status, would you be willing to drop the lawsuit against the hospital my son works at?  After all,  _ _he_ _ ," the pointed look at him, "is carry Oushou's child.  A child that will have the strength and ancient blood of our two families shouldn't be born to an unwed female.  No grandson of mine will be born a bastard.  After all, since Oushou loves your son, its perfect. Who would want someone as damaged as him?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point, this story is unfinished. Maybe in time I'll pick it back up. But everything I've done to Shirou took a toll on me.


End file.
